One of the most important parts of this program for me is that I do it completely myself. I need to face my demons and celebrate my wins and get myself going and give myself a break, I need to process this completely inside of me ask questions of myself and answer them myself. One of the great benefits of working with some of the best coaches and teachers on the planet is that I know those questions to ask, I know the places to look and the instructions to give and I need, at this point in my life, to completely trust mySelf to ask and answer and sometimes to live in the question for awhile. One of the burdens I freed myself from that allowed me to start this journey was the burden of outside influence of any shape or form. I had imprisoned myself in the belief that I didn’t know how and that I was trapped in a prison of hundreds of opinions of how I should diet or exercise, and many of them conflicted with each other and I had tried and failed to follow many of them. I had set up coaching relationships around these issues and succeded for awhile then failed. I had joined groups and talked to doctors and physical trainers. All the while I had ignored the very thing that I was most trying to connect with and love, my body. MySelf is the integrated whole of me that is composed of my body, mind, spirit, emotions, soul and any other parts that are floating around out there not connected to or well known by this complete Self that I Am. I am in a place in my life where I need to take this journey into mySelf by myself.
It is tricky writing this because I completely believe in coaching and believe it is a great relationship to be in for most people most of the time. I am currently taking forms of coaching in my relationship and in my spiritual life in the form of Kaylin the couples therapist that Karen and I love going to in order to keep deepening the intimacy in our marriage, and with the Black Lodge training and community that I have mentioned here that I am part of to deepen my connection to the sprit that I am. I am also part of an incredibly powerful team at CTI that has been completely restructured to be a coaching venue for all of us on the owner/executive team to have us be able to focus more effectively on what we are up to creating in the world with this magnificent vehicle we have been given to drive. So I have many coaches around me supporting me in many ways. I know that some folks may read this blog and be inspired to follow a path similar to the one I am taking and that is fine. It may work for them and it may not, that will be up to them, they may use a coach along with this form and they may not, every path to a deeper consciousness and a more completely integrated self is a good one.
Now to the facts ma’am, just the facts.
Yesterday was an interesting day foodwise. It was a day where my good friend Gonan joined me, all the way from Dubai, to design a Co-Active parenting workshop. When I get into a creative design phase I notice that I can go unconscious in my eating as I activate my brain in a creative direction.
So I did well with Breakfast, eating a half a bowl of hot cereal very consciously and stopping when full. I did the same with lunch with a cup of soup and some chicken salad and broccoli salad. Then I pulled out some snacks in the afternoon to have some nosh and I was ok for a bit conscious wise and then I found my hand going in and out of the bowl and my mouth with no memory or awareness of doing so. Now I do celebrate discovering that during a trip of my hand from bowl to mouth and returning said snack to bowl. Where I failed was in being aware of how many times my hand had made that trip in the hour before. So I have something to be aware of today in design; first If I am having a snack why am I having a snack? Second If I am having a snack what is my body needing in terms of being done with it, is it about taste, crunch, shift of focus from what I am focused on, having something to do with my mouth, hunger?
I also wanted to talk about dinner. I went to one of my favorite restaurants last night and shared some oysters and ate 2/3s of a moroccan lamb dish. I was very conscious during eating the meal and stopped when I was feeling done, although the temptation was there to clean the plate. However I ate more then 1/3 of my entree and I sat there a bit confused about my program for a minute. I would have usually ordered a salad course before the entree and I didn’t so I didn’t know how to count it all up for myself. I smiled as I realized that all of that really didn’t matter as the whole point is not to follow a set of rules as much as it is to GET CONSCIOUS, and I did a pretty good job on that one.
I must admit I am feeling pretty great this morning.