Paradox and Cycles

The view out of my office window

The view out of my office window

I find myself in an interesting paradox with this personal work I am doing in this blog. As I sit here at my desk looking out at the vastness of the ocean and the sky and my two friends L. A. and Michelle are downstairs waiting for me to finish so we can get back to the design work we are doing that is going to support people in living more conscious lives and focus myself to where I need to look for another look into my own consciousness I am acutely aware of the simultaneous looking outwards and inwards. The primary importance of both means there is not a choice between one or the other, instead I need to hold in my mind the cycle of these two awarenesses that call me in different directions. The more powerfully I focus my awareness inwards and tell the truth about it the more profoundly my outside world starts to change and the more I take response-ability for my outside world the more clear and powerful the inside world becomes. And yet I can’t look for results for my inside work outside, or evidence of my outside work inside, because if I do I will invite in ego, co-dependency, and seeking for approval and results. So as I cycle around in this thinking I return to the quest I am engaged in here, to keep digging down into my consciousness for me, myself and I, to keep living into my intention and commitment for and to mySelf, to keep lovingly caring for all the parts of mySelf and to coax them into integration. AND to keep looking out into my world for what I can contribute that will continue to wake people up to their own aliveness and creativity and to do my best to point them to a deeper consciousness and mindfulness and protecting life.

Yesterday was a day filled with wonderful meetings with great people. I am having the kind of intimate and rich conversations with people that I remember having in my 20’s accept the maturity level is greater and I am taking myself a whole lot less seriously, and I am trusting the conversation itself, the relationship, and the process that is unfolding to reveal what is needed. It is really cool.

In regards to 1/3 and 2/3s; I did nothing unusual in the area of movement or exercise and I didn’t leave the house. I did move a bit more while designing and cooking but not enough to call it 2/3s. I left some cereal in my half filled bowl for breakfast and ate a cup of soup and a piece of rye toast, consciously, for lunch. For dinner I made some Chicken stir fry over rice for my co-designers and myself and managed to stay mostly conscious while eating and conversing and I ate about 3/4 of a bowl and stop when my belly said enough.

As the pace picks up with my life over these next few months, if I can be AS conscious with my eating and MORE conscious of my exercise I would be very happy.

4 responses to “Paradox and Cycles

  1. Hey Henry,

    Well, we’d be great if we could just trade-off our natural focus just a bit…. I need just a bit more consciousness around the food, but with exercise and moving am doing great.

    For me, exercise and moving have become part of my “morning practice” — it is how I start the day everyday, in addition to a little meditation… I find, actually, that much of the movement coincides with meditation. This has long been the case with walking my dog Puck — I hold it as a sort of walking meditation… I focus on being present, on gratitude, and being keenly aware of everything around me. I’m now finding that swimming is VERY meditative…. I actually sort of zone out in a sort of altered state after awhile and laps just go by… In the evening I do yoga which… although really about breathing and presence…. gets me moving too.

    Keep going! Love to you,


  2. Hi Henry:

    I love where you are looking with this inside/outside paradox.

    Here’s a distinction that came up for me while I was reading.

    Looking outside one’s self for results doesn’t create co-dependency. Co-dependency creates looking outside one’s self for results.

    I mean, what is co-dependency anyway. After a lot of phsycological jargon, Webster’s defines co-dependency as ” dependence on the needs of or control by another” . ..i.e. looking outside myself to confirm or discover my value, to determine what and how I should be. . .etc.

    Maybe response-abililty is a natural response of an integrated, whole human being. We can become more skilled at that ability and the DESIRE is natural. . . We need to move into that from the depth of Self.

    Thanks for letting me wonder out loud.

    I love you!

  3. Dear Henry,
    You are awesome! And, I a realise that you are engaged in stuff that feeds and excites your soul… the essence of your creativity. It is all incredibly stimulating, inspiring, and challenging to us too. I had a wonder though, I wonder if when you are working with those incredible people, whether you could use it as an opportunity to be drawn further into the consciousness of 2/3, 1/3… how you could design it around exercise perhaps? I know that something landed for me today as I climbed to the top of my hill.
    Love you,

  4. Great Point Emma,

    I didn’t do that during this design session, although there was a great opportunity to at one point where one of my co-designers had to go for a walk to get some “fresh air” and I now see in retrospect it was the perfect spot to practice some design in motion, and I know this would be great for me. I am aware that I have some serious habits to break that surround design time and creative time.

    Thanks for the pointing.

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