One challenge well met by the young knight. Alas he can’t celebrate too long or take his eye off the prize as he is headed straight into another one. And yet as my loving supporters so beautifully point out I do get to claim a wonderful victory on this quest to consciousness and integration. I feel fantastic and I am well exercised, fed, rested and loved as I head into this next challenge. I am wonderfully loved, respected and celebrated in this next challenge. The challenge I face is not with anything or anyone external, it is instead a challenge of doing things an habitual way in the over 100 Leadership Retreats that I have lead. Identifying, stalking down and facing the habits that I have formed, like when I go to sleep at night and when I wake up in the morning and what I do to prepare myself for the day upon waking. Habits of standing in the buffet line and what I put on my plate, how much (restraint), sitting down with folks who are stimulated by what has happened during the day and wanting to be in relationship with me and me wanting to be in relationship with them and shoveling in the food without being in relationship with mySelf or the food. Habits around being the “big jovial guy who celebrates life with gusto and a plate full of food”.
In many ways this is the most frightening inner battle I have yet faced. At home I am able to set a slow pace of exploring consciousness and when traveling and on vacation I am able to create an adventure around it all. This is the occasion when I am most pulled into my service to the world and most easily pulled out of mySelf. I am REALLY good at what I do in this world and what I have done has worked well for me in this world, a part of me says “Why would you mess with something that is working already?” As I mentioned earlier the habits are firmly in place and the persona created by those habits is successful. There seems to be more at stake internally as I step into the fray of this challenge. Added to all of this is the likelihood that one or two Wild Boars (the name of the Leadership Group I am about to lead) will read this post and they will want me to be successful, because they love and respect me and have even said that they are inspired by this blog and the journey I am on. There is this whole “Emperors New Clothes” feel to the whole thing.
Those are the challenges and along with the feelings of fear are feelings of great excitement. The excitement is the knowing that if I can beat this one back and replace some of my habits in this environment, well then I can face them anywhere and with anyone. I will have taken a major step on this intention road to integration and consciousness. Of course the dragon you are about to slay is always far bigger then the one you are in the midst of fighting and once slain it looks like the lizard it always was. So here’s to Dragons and lizards. Charge.