The Little Burger

Stupid little untasted burger 
 
Thanks for the lesson

Stupid little untasted burger Thanks for the lesson

My right leg is still waking up from being the sleepy meditative lump of sand it becomes when I meditate. As I type this I can feel the blood coursing it’s way down into my leg and around and coming back, clearing out the sand feeling and replacing it with reinvigorated leg feeling. It is 7:15 in the morning on day one of R4 or the Wild Boars and I have completed my morning cleaning up and my meditation and here I am writing in my blog. A good beginning to this phase in my journey of intention. Today I actually woke up a half hour before my alarm went off, my body was eager to jump into the day and start this practice and to meet the nasty habits that we are to do battle with. Well the first habit was “I don’t have to get up and out of bed until the alarm goes off”, and it won. My poor self didn’t even realize it was in the battle until I was in my shower and I thumped myself on the head (I coulda had a V8) and said there is another one to stalk. I know that one from the days of getting ready for school and insisting I stay in bed until the very last minute, my brothers and I would actually call out “I get last” for who got to take the last shower in the morning.

Not realizing I had already lost one battle I went through my ablutions and sat down to meditate, which was great and as I am writing this I do wonder why I make it such a big deal to get that extra half hour to hour of sleep in the morning when I could be doing these great things. I could also go to bed earlier, boy there is a habit that was formed by TV watching as a kid. I definitely never went to bed before the news came on at 11.

Yesterday was a transition day and I did ok on restraint and moderation with my eating. I had a late breakfast at the local bakery of a small slice of quiche and a cup of coffee and then I meandered my way down to the airport stopping in a park and listened to my book for an hour or so, stopped for a diet coke, and tell the truth here Henry to yourself 😦 a small burger :-(( I knew I wasn’t going to eat any lunch with Sam and I wasn’t particularly hungry and I ordered the smallest burger they had, and I felt guilty while eating it. It was like the old sneaking cookies days. It didn’t taste good, in fact I didn’t really taste it at all I was so busy going through all sorts of feeling about that stupid little burger. Then to top it all off when Sam got in the car and asked if I had had lunch I basically lied and said I had had a late breakfast awhile ago and was fine. When in fact I had that little burger still working it’s way through my system as I was talking. I was already in denial to myself as well as lying to Sam for no reason at all except the old habit of sneaking a cookie and looking Mom straight in the eyes and saying I hadn’t.

However the rest of the day was great. Sam and I went to a nice restaurant and I was restrained in my ordering and was conscious during my eating while having a good conversation with Sam and didn’t finish my entree because I reached a point of done before the food was done. I would guess I ate a little over half of my entree and a salad and had a third of an appetizer that we shared. So all in all I felt good about the dinner.

All in all I feel good about this first skirmish with the Dragon of habits around leading the Leadership Program.

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