Staying awake

Wake up Henry   Stick to the program   Remember the dream

Wake up Henry
Stick to the program
Remember the dream

Time to tell the truth to mySelf in regards to this program. I have come back from a remarkable experience and it feels a bit like I went off to graduate school to get a Masters and I have to go back to high school and finish up some courses first in order to move on. So here I am back in high school looking at both courses of study and skimming over the surface of the high school courses so that I can really dive into the graduate school courses. The problem is that if I don’t put my attention on the high school courses I won’t be able to really sink into the graduate path fully. So I have to stop skimming and tell the truth to mySelf. I am not bad or wrong or beating myself up I am just aware of a deep desire to move on to the next thing and creating all sorts of judgments, excuses and justifications as to why that is a good idea. Even though I know deeply in mySelf that it is a really bad idea.

So first the facts:

1/3 – Since I have been home I have been slipping in all of my consciousness habits around food. I have been grazing the refrigerator during the day and taking a tray down to the TV at night. I have been semi-conscious while eating and not practicing restraint in what I am putting on the plate, ending up with a fuller belly at the end of my dinner meal then I would like.

2/3s – What I have not done here is anything. I have meditated and begun to refresh my alter, which is good, I haven’t however gone for a swim yet or taken any walks or double walked a single staircase.

Now the renewed intention:

1/3 – I will get back on program starting this moment right now. In a few minutes after I am done writing this entry I will go down, up, down, up and down again the stairs to the kitchen and make an egg and a piece of rye toast and eat it consciously at the counter and I will follow that with a conscious lunch and a conscious dinner with Karen at a restaurant down by her. I will return to tracking my experiences daily here for awhile until I feel like I am back on the program of Moderation 1/3 2/3s.

2/3s – I will start double/triple walking the stairs today with my upcoming breakfast and will go for a swim early this afternoon. I will park at the far end of parking lots and hit the stairs with vim and vigor and report about it here until I feel like I am back on my program. I will swim 2 more times before I leave for Dubai (a week from today) and I will bring my swim stuff to Dubai and Tel Aviv and swim when and where possible.

I will post another video this week and figure out how to get my other video’s (or at least one of them) up on the site.

Man oh Man this universe is so full of richness, creativity and brilliance. There is so many directions to point my attention and intention. This world and we humans are in need of creative ideas, teaching in responsibility and connection of and with themselves and each other. There are so many directions to point my consciousness, my thoughts, my words and my actions. These places are asleep and need to be awakened and there are things I know and things that I am learning that can help to awaken these things. And yet all of that is hollow and empty if I go to sleep on mySelf.


4 responses to “Staying awake

  1. Henry….
    It seems to me that you have been at the top of your mountain, crown open to the magic and wonder of the universe…. and you know that a dragon lives under the mountain. And on the way back down, even if you lost your grip for a moment or two, it seems that your feet have found firm ground.

    I am amazed, inspired and in awe of you.
    Love Emma

  2. I liked the metaphor at the beginning of the piece – wanting to go to graduate school but having to complete with the high school courses first! That resonates – I get bored with the ‘small stuff’ in life sometimes and just want to focus on the big dreams. But I guess running the two in parall is the ideal – holding them both at the same time. la, de, dah – I had better go back to sorting out my admin crap now!

  3. Hi Henry,

    It seems like those 2 little words never go away…”begin again”. Aren’t we blessed that we can always do that?
    Here’s to your renewed committment to your Self. It sounds like this will be your “international program”. Grad school can’t be far behind.

  4. Thank you Henry, for keeping us all tuned into staying AWAKE – and ALIVE. Through your blog and your postings I’m being poked to my own awakenings and sense of aliveness. What inspires me most is your vulnerability, which is such an indication of your strengh (and awakeness!)

    It’s good to have you back.

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