No matter how dark the mood
The sun will rise
I woke up this morning in one of those “moods”, I have no idea why. I went to bed feeling terrific about yesterday. We did a great job with the parents and created lots of value. I came back to the room and had room service and did a fine job of staying conscious and I watched a movie about being an adolescent girl in the UK that ended happily ever after. I went to bed feeling simply grand. I must have had some interesting dreams. I do remember a kind of Icarus dream where I had wings and was flying all over the place. I don’t remember falling and I felt the inevitability of it. So I woke up sighing heavily and in a “mood”. Of course I immediately went into trying to figure out what was “wrong”, Of course it is my last day so I have the “It’s time to leave already and I can’t wait to get out anxiety” or I have the “Wonder if I will get it right before I go” worry, or I have the “shiny bit is over the next hill or around the next corner but definitely not here syndrome”. So my mind was busy running these possible “solutions to my problem” around and I noticed it wasn’t helping one bit. Like a complete idiot instead of plunking mySelf down into a meditation to clear my mind I opened my emails and thought, somehow, I would use them to help me focus and get mySelf grounded, then I went to my Black Lodge homework and visited the virtual lodge that contains all the communications of all the folks I am studying with and made up that maybe that would help ground me in my spiritual journey. Even as I type this I realize what a strange fool I am when I am in this “mood”. Somehow I think that doing the habits of my mind will be what help get me grounded when I am already swirling around in my mind. Then I have a comedy of errors in talking with Karen. We can’t connect by Skype and we are chatting with instant messaging and then talk on the telephone. It is great to hear her voice on the phone and I do feel more connected to mySelf. Actually when I get on the phone I am all ready to not write an entry in my blog and just talk to Karen and then stumble through my day from this “mood” place and let it all work itself out. While talking to her I realize that i need to write something in the blog. Of course as I start writing my Observer of mySelf comes out and I begin to see what I have been doing to mySelf this morning and I can begin to see other choices I can make. I begin to focus my mind, my heart, my spirit and my body to what is necessary and move forward on my chair and feel mySelf getting clearer and less captured by the “mood”. I am beginning to feel mySelf pointed into an exciting day of connection and transformation and I am thrilled about it. I am feeling my body wake up and the skin on my arms and the back of my legs is tingling as I settle into mySelf. I will step powerfully into this day and move through the transitions of the next 24 hours beautifully and Tomorrow I will be writing my next entry from Tel Aviv Israel. A whole new world.