Creating My Universe From Cranky

What is being Created in the Midst of This?

What is being Created in the Midst of This?

Some mornings I just don’t feel like I have anything to write and that I am forcing mySelf to write something. Some of those mornings I actually don’t write anything and then spend the day wondering if I missed an opportunity or it just wasn’t the right thing to do at the time. Some of those morning a plow on and in the writing something shows up that was important to find and comes out in the writing. Once and awhile I start writing on one of those mornings and it just turns out to be a bunch of blather that isn’t that important to me or to anyone else on the planet. This morning is one of those mornings and I know I am not following the first path, hope I am on the second path, and hope I am NOT on the third path. However I don’t know which of those paths I am on until I am done. And I am hoping that I don’t find a fourth path which is I write some blather and it is so meaningless and silly that I don’t even want to keep it much less publish it on my blog and I just press the delete key. So far I haven’t come up against that one and there is always the chance that this will be that time.

I am a little cranky and stiff this morning. The beds here at the retreat center are hard single beds, not even twins, but singles and they are 6 feet long. I am 6’4“ tall and you have seen many pictures of how wide I am, even though I am getting narrower. So the bed and I don’t quite fit together and I am not sleeping as well as I would like which has me wake up a bit crankier then I would like to on a fine day in Israel, the third day of Retreat 5. So I need to use this entry to uncrankify mySelf and return to the powerful, wise, funny old granpa that I am that is stuffed with the playful, curious and adventurous kid that I am. I need to find that swirl of characters in me that make up this amazing being that is living through this awesome life. I need to reach up and into the Spirit that I Am, find that core of being that is connected to the Universe, that Light Being that radiates light and love with every breath and every glance. I need to remember the history of me, the history that goes back to before my birth, through my parents and their parents and on and on to the point where all life started and imagine the future of me extending out with each ripple I create into a world of magic, hope and aliveness. I need to dive into the depths of the Void of me, that ancient chasm of emptiness that is at the center of my being and find that nurturing and healing energy that birthing energy in me that is pregnant with that lightning bolt of me that yearns to stretch out into a crackling firebolt of energy and creativity. As I touch all these parts of me I become more aware of how the cranky part of me is just one small part of me. It deserves to have a place in the pantheon of me and it isn’t all there is, even though 15 minutes ago it sure felt that way. (In fact I can feel ole Cranky still in there stumbling around, whining and wanting to get back into that tiny bed and pull the covers over his head, even if it means that he pulls them off his feet. ) But now he is there with the rest of me and I know he is alright and I am alright and I remember who I Am and know that I am off to step into a day of transformation, emergence, awakening and off the charts learning of really cool new things. I remember that I am what I say I am and what I intend for in mySelf. I remember that I actually create my Universe with every thought, word and action. Which Universe do I want to create? A cranky one? I don’t think so.

4 responses to “Creating My Universe From Cranky

  1. Hey Henry,

    I love this entry. It helped me to remember a whole lot of great and transcendent parts of me that are much bigger and more inspiring than the small part of me that is feeling upset and powerless in the face of some challenges I’m facing. That powerless part is so small when I remember my long lineage back to the beginning of everything and my connection to all that is and ever will be.

    I love you lots!


  2. Well Henry,
    Perhaps you could wake up cranky everyday…. he certainly inspired an amazing post…. and I invite him to have a coffee with the miserable sod in me!!!

  3. “Creating from Cranky”…sounds like a title for a Haiku! I am always astonished by your powers of intention and deep noticing of what is going on. Being able to separate out the byte of ‘cranky’ from what is your Wonder-FULL life. Creating from nothing, creating from something, creating from cranky.

  4. Hey Henry,

    Love your verbs… I am henceforth adding ‘uncrankify’ to my vocabulary and I committ to engaging in it regularly.

    Keep on Keeping on

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