Helen, thanks for your blessings and wonderings in your comments on my last post. See me slapping my forehead (I coulda had a V8) and saying “duh”, of course the play and the audience is always changing. Of course the need is shifting, even though the stake is solid and true, even it morphs over time. I am imagining Shakespeare coming back to visit his plays every couple hundred years and wondering what he would shift and what he would keep exactly the same. What he would trust to the magic of his initial creation and what he would fiddle with and tweak. How would his vocabulary grow even larger with each visit and how would his poetry go even deeper? How would we all change and all of literature change? So Helen you are so right that as I flow into this world that I created 10 years or so ago in addition to staying conscious to the changes in mySelf, looking out and noticing the changes in the participants and looking down at the timeline, noticing how the script itself has morphed and changed since I wrote it, and finally feeling into the shifting needs in the world as the world shifts and changes, I need to stay open to it all and see what is needed and step into that. How exciting and terrifying a prospect that is.It certainly asks a lot of my ego, which is absolutely committed to my way is the right and only way and what I created was right and will always be right. That little ego has to step back completely in order for me to open up in that way completely. My ego also really cares that I look good and get it right, and it really thinks I got it right the first time so why change it? Why keep looking? Why keep listening? Why bother at all? Why not just lie down on a beach somewhere with a Mai Tai? So lets just send the little guy off to his beach and give him a bucket of Mai Tai’s and put mySelf’s shoes on and head of to the In The Bones course and be open and see what’s needed.
The second part of your comment, Helen, I need to contemplate on. You are brilliantly insightful when you say that I am not one to tolerate being boxed in by anything. And there is this interesting paradox that I dance with a lot, especially when I am consciously creating a powerful intention that will completely change my way of being in the world so that I live my life in a more integrated way. This paradox also shows up in the proceeding paragraph I think. On the one side of this lovely paradox dance is the need to be completely open to the changes, fluctuations, the flow of life and the commitments of life unfolding while at the same time stick to something powerfully that I believe in and let that powerful dedication and intention move me to a new way of being.
Where I am in that dance ideally is holding both poles powerfully at the same time and dancing the dance of life in between them. What sometimes happens is I get a little hyper focused on one or the other and my language and my inner judge particularly starts to make me wrong for failing or not following the program or for not flowing enough or seeing how the choices or changes are unfolding now as opposed to the previous moment. When I start judging mySelf in either direction it pulls me away from the true goal of integration of mySelf. So the enemy is not the box I might put mySelf in for awhile in order to learn, the enemy is judging mySelf for being in the box. The enemy is not NOT FOLLOWING THE PROGRAM, the enemy is judging mySelf for not following the program. When I am being conscious, when I have replaced that Judge with the Neutral Observer of consciousness then it is easy to dance in that paradox and to create the life and universe I am dreaming.