Shadow and Light of Time

Cosmic Time

Cosmic Time

And the waves roll in. The clock moves forward. I am feeling the press of time this morning as I work to get my writing done so as not to be late to meet with my wonderful co-leader Mary Kuentz. I was late yesterday as I lingered in the now and leisurely wrote what I wanted to about my sister and my ego. I don’t like being late, I don’t like it for messed up reasons and anxiety filled reasons, and I don’t like it because there are some issues around impeccability and integrity. So I know that today I will not be late and I am going to sit here now and clear out the messed up reasons that have me be all stressed out around time. I am going to send my consciousness into those realms and expose the tendrils of old limiting beliefs that have me freak out and get anxious about being late. As I do this I will be conscious of the time in as loose a way as possible and leave my house impeccably and walking in Turtle Medicine.

There is an oldest child maintaining the rules of time in me that turns into a worrying dictator as time closes in and starts to cause me to fidget and tighten up physically. Underneath that is a belief that if I am not on time, for things that I have agreed to be on time for, I will be not enough (original taproot) or look like an idiot (tendril of taproot). So I compensate for these deepsetted old and buried beliefs by stressing out and starting to make others stress out around me. I also create entire relationships based in supporting me in keeping my time agreements from a really messed up right/wrong perspective. As I am writing this I realize completely and deeply how ridiculous this all is. I so don’t have to be captured by these obsessions and stressors. I HAVE buried that original taproot and the new story has been written. I would like to go back and find where in my youth that first time specific belief was dreamed up and rewrite that story. I give that assignment to mySelf to do when I have more time 🙂

There is a sacredness and an impeccability that time offers and I eagerly step into that frame of time. There is an agreement that time is that I see has value at creating a feeling of a safe container to work and play in while we are living in this reality. There are some wonderful cycles that present themselves in Time and sitting back and appreciating those cycles and the way they weave the air we breathe and the life we live is a great way to move through this life. I love and respect time as I move through this life. Oh look time to go.

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