Celebration and Curiosity

I Am Celebrating   Going twice as far as ever before   Stopping with an effortless ease   And most of all a quick recovery

I Am Celebrating
Going twice as far as ever before
Stopping with an effortless ease
And most of all a quick recovery

Today I am celebrating and curious. First the celebration. After writing about my “crash” yesterday and having a great meeting with Sabina R., the woman who makes things work at CTI, I went swimming. It was a beautiful day in Sebastopol at Ives Pool, where I swim, there were lots of people in the pool which means I have to share a lane with at least one other person. That’s no problem as I have gotten very conscious of where I am in the pool and the lane and where others are. I started out and found a good pace and just kept going. I got into that meditative groove for the first time in my swimming and ended up swimming 51 laps or 1275 yards!!! This is twice as far as any previous swim and I left the pool with energy, I wasn’t depleted. With a little rest I could have swum even further if I had wanted to. But I didn’t want to, I was done and that was so cool, because it wasn’t about competing with anyone, especially mySelf. I sort of blew past anything I had made up about my limitations and just kept moving, I didn’t think about time and where I have to be next, I just sank into the rhythm and the strokes and the breathing and the counting. I have learned from my meditation that if I am going to give my left brain something to do, counting is a good thing and it helps to keep that old file cabinet from digging around for other things to look at. So a big victory, Yay me.

The second thing to celebrate happened last night. I had a few people over for Book Club. In our Book Club tradition the host cooks dinner, sometimes the dinner is theme based on the food that was in the book, this time the only food in the book was brats, dog food and raw pan fish. The book was The Story Of Edgar Sawtelle, an excellent tragedy about a boy and his relationship with dogs. So not much food from the book, however the book takes place in northern Wisconsin so I made up a summer barbeque, chicken, grilled veggies, corn on the cob, and Karen made her famous cornbread and we had ice cream and warm peaches for desert. MMmm good for the food and a great conversation about the book, which some really liked and some didn’t like all that much, this defines a good book club book. The celebration is that there on my plate was a beautifully cooked piece of barbequed chicken and an ear of corn etc. and I ate a little over half of it and stopped. Stopped with corn still on the cob, OMG, left with chicken and sauce still on the bone, OMG, left cornbread crumbs on the plate. This is a pattern breaking barbeque, the old me would have gone through 1-2 ears of corn, 2-3 pieces of chicken, and 2-3 pieces of cornbread, (with the last piece of cornbread for sopping up any sauce left on the plate) and then I would clear the table and catch a few bites as the plates went back to the kitchen. And there I was just eating along and enjoying the conversation and Stopped. I was sort of astonished with mySelf, it was not a moment of asking mySelf if I should stop, or a feeling into mySelf for fulness, or planning and calculating how much I should eat based on my program, I just Stopped and was done. This moment is a profound moment of celebration that is easily as wonderful and effortless as my swim was in the morning. Yehaaaa

Now the curiosity. It is interesting to me that when I title a blog entry “Crashing” on a Tuesday morning I get twice the number of “hits” and comments as I do when I title an entry “Re-Alignment” on a Monday morning. I love that anybody is reading and commenting on my blog and I feel and love the support that is what is holding me accountable to this intention. And what intrigues me is how people seem to be drawn to the hard times, the tragedy, the falls, the crashes, the dips, the overcoming of great obstacles, and the trials and tribulations so much more then the celebrations, the wins, the realizations, the insights, the coming upon a simple truths, that are also the story. I feel the comments of the people who read both “the good” and “the bad” just as powerfully. Yet what is the most interesting to me are not the comments on the entries as much as which entry gets hits on the website, which I can track through a very cool feature. I can’t track who comes to the website but I can track how many come and to which pages they are drawn. They are drawn almost 2 to 1 to the titles that are more on the “bad” end of the spectrum, the “confessional” end where I am copping to some dark place and overcoming it. I want to be clear here that this is NOT a complaint, it is a curiosity about our world. I am aware of how much attention we pay to “bad news”, “tragic stories”, “fear based whatever”, and soap operas. I know we are all tuned to the hero’s journey and it seems we are much more interested in the struggle of the journey then in the victory. I think we are interested in Victory as a signal that the struggle is over more then we are interested in the victory itself, which is probably the reason we step right back into creating more struggle again so quickly. I do recognize the yearning for wholeness, for shadow and light, for completeness, and yet we humans do seemed to be more drawn to the entertainment value of shadow then we are to light. The curiosity is being tickled.

6 responses to “Celebration and Curiosity

  1. Hmmm….. wonder which way I fall??? I think in many ways it is easier to identify with you in the struggle……… and in many ways your brilliance makes you more remote… it is inspirational yes, but harder to identify with. AND, I long to follow your path, take control of mySelf, in many of the same ways…. and don’t actually know how to…. so at least when you are in struggle, mySelf feels less threatened. Perhaps?

  2. Hi Henry,

    Re your curiousity: I fall into the category who wants to see hardship overcome…The more complicated and convoluted the “crash” story, the better the “recovery” story…(makes me wonder what would happen if your heading was “Trash”, or “Cash”, or “Panache”, or “I’m ingenious and Cute”….)

    Anyhow, as to your rings of influence, Stew is down from 305 to 286 and making healthy food choices…
    I have broken 160 (down from 175) AND I am doing pool aerobics most days.

    So YAY YOU and YAY US!
    Love,
    Nanette

  3. Henry, I’m new to Facebook and I’m loving the faces! Your beaming presence lifts my heart .. and so do your words. What a treat. I celebrate with you – your swim and the shift in your relationship with food. And I celebrate you any and every whcih way. Full of smiles and a wide open heart this morning here in the UK because of your words and your image. May the ripples radiate back to you.
    Kx

  4. Hey Henry.
    in reponse to your wondering about the interest in the “crash” story, I think there’s a deep longing in all of us to know we are not the only ones that go through the highs and lows that define who we are as human beings. It’s deeply reassuring to see that our tendency to interpret our own lows as failings are not that – but simply universal experiences that we all share. I read your posts with gratitude for your willingness to share your human experience and relief that I am not alone.

  5. I believe it was Tolstoy who said that ‘Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way’ – which explains the common facination of the novelist, the poet, the writer in the more difficult, challenging, sad parts of life.

  6. Geeze Henry,

    I for one find that a crash-less life is b-o-r-i-n-g! So, you’re right, when I saw the “CRASH” post I was delighted. Delighted in the knowledge that this could be very good for you, that crashing helps to make us what we are, and helps shape who we want to become. You bet I tuned in extra carefully, read and re-read that post – waiting to see what you were going to do, being concerned about you, yet not really. Knowing you would get to where you want to be and knowing how necessary the challenges of crashes are along the way, and waiting to celebrate whatever the learning is. And, secretly filing away in my mind what I learned for myself. Now, isn’t that so much more beneficial than every day being a good day?

    For me, crashes and what we do with them are so much needed – and that’s what makes them so interesting to look at and be involved in and pay attention to.

    Thank you for crashing Henry – you needed it, and most of all thank you for sharing.

    You know I’m happy when I can stir things up a little.

    Love,

    Doug

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