You’d Think I Would Get This

It's one of those I coulda had a V8 moments

It's one of those I coulda had a V8 moments

Sloooow Down – Geeze you know there really are just a few messages to really get deep in my bones. Here I am six months down the road of this journey of consciousness and I still find myself not “getting” them. I understand them, I feel their absolute correctness for me at this stage of my journey, I remember them and I forget them, and most of all I need to consistently remind mySelf of them. I want them to become me, live in me so deeply and truly that I just move and live from them rather then have to keep them in front of me like a carrot dangling from a stick. Is this want unrealistic or naive? Does this kind of deep consciousness work mean that they live there as possibilities forever and that they don’t become part of my DNA? If it truly is my universe to create what is in the way of me creating these messages into me as part of mySelf? The messages I am ready to incorporate are:

Slow Down and Sink Into Turtle Medicine.
Practice Restraint and Moderation with Food.
Move Daily In Ways That Please My Body.
Have Each Breath Take Me Deeper Into My Consciousness.

That’s all, just those four. Actually as far as restructured DNA goes, in the short term I would be very pleased with the first three being fully integrated into my automatic nervous system. I realize the fourth one will need a whole lot more consciousness practice. I figured I would throw it into the universe creating part of mySelf though anyway. If that part of mySelf is creating this reality for me it might as well through in the whole magilla.

Now as I take another one of those deep conscious breaths I lower my brows and get a look of contemplation on my face as I dive down into the combination of truth and silliness in what I just wrote. The truth is that there must still be some set of limiting beliefs down there in the cess pit of me that has me believing that it just ain’t possible for me to truly incorporate these messages as truths of who I Am. These beliefs are different from the old taproot beliefs centered around “not enough” they seem to be more around the limitations of this human self that I am. It feels more like “its impossible” then “I’m not enough”. The impossibility of it feels like my brain talking to my spirit saying “You’re asking too much of me, I can’t do this”. Yeah it’s “I can’t” and “I’m a failure because I can’t”. Oooo yuck it’s a totally wimpy victimy voice and it IS a tendril from the old taproot of “not enough”. It is all the same crap, damn. OK some more stalking and cleaning out needs to be done around this hairy mother. OK that is the truth AND the silliness.

In me is the power to dream my truth and my reality. When I clean out these newly excavated hairy things the next thing is to rewrite me, recreate me, give birth to the new me that lives this life with these messages sealed into my DNA the same way I am wired for enjoyment of life, savoring, learning, creating, relating, awakening, laughing, crying, and the myriad of other qualities that make up mySelf. Off to Stalk.

2 responses to “You’d Think I Would Get This

  1. Hello dear Henry,
    Sounds like you might be doing some weeding to me! I noticed I am having to do some weeding too… but my beans and strawberries are growing really well! Very exciting.
    Love you
    Emma

  2. Wow, six whole months to change life-long patterns and you’re still not getting it? 🙂 Henry, I love reading about the work you’re doing, and it inspires me as well. Vulnerability, especially from such an incredible leader, is a powerful thing. Thank you.

    Also, I commented here a couple of times, then noticed there is another Carol who also commented – we are two different people! I’ll see if I can change my screen name on here.

    Carol – from Cradleboards

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