I scarfed down a delicious bowl of cereal with fresh peaches and blueberries for breakfast this morning. I say scarfed because a) I finished it with out thinking about finishing it and, b) I used a big spoon and ate it quickly while sitting out on the deck on this beautiful morning and watching the ocean. It was good and in retrospect if I had eaten it a bit slower and consciously I would have probably left at least 1/3 of it in the bowl. Yesterday was a bit of both consciousness and unconsciousness as I had a delightfully conscious dinner with Karen with a chicken stirfry and watermelon and a conscious breakfast with Karen of 2 poached eggs on a small piece of rye toast. The afternoon was a bit of unconscious grazing on rice cakes and peanut butter and corn chips and salsa kind of afternoon. Not terrible but unconscious none the less.
Time to get back to 2/3s REALLY
I got an email from a reader of the blog living in the UK and she was concerned that I don’t spend enough attention to exercise in my program or the blog and feels that exercise is THE solution to ALL my problems. As always I am grateful for any and all feedback and where she is absolutely correct is that I am still not living into my commitments when it comes to exercise or movement in my program. I am swimming more and more and this is good, in fact I leave next week for a few weeks at my cottage in Georgian Bay and I plan to swim every day up there. I am not doing my original plan of 2/3s. Some of it was beginning to feel ridiculous and unreal to that judging part of my brain, like double and triple walking the stairs and sitting on my ball (OK so I just sat on my ball again for the first time in months and I can already feel my body working more to keep my balance and posture right and little adjustments being made in my body just to sit upright). I have been moving my parking place closer to the store that I am going to and moving less in general.
So while I agree with Yvette from the UK in the fact that I am spending less time on my movement and exercise then my intention stated that I would, I disagree that it is “THE solution for me”. I continue to refuse to accept that there is “A solution” for me or anybody that is truly known by anyone but themselves and their body. I think that the most important thing for me to do is to get mySelf moving more again and to be conscious about giving mySelf movement that I love, and to continue to be conscious of what and how much I eat and to eat only what I need and love. I also plan to increase my consciousness of the patterns, habits, taproots and resistances with the intention of excavating them and replacing them with life affirming and self integrating patterns, habits, and stories.