Before the Flip
It has been a wonderful journey in a great vehicle
Oh look I am on cruise control going 84mph on the Bonneville Salt Flats of Utah.
Well I’ve been dillydallying long enough. It’s time to get back to my blog, my intention, my consciousness. I took this whole vacation thing to heart and ended up truly vacating all of my Stuff that I have been paying attention to. I wasn’t in a state of Unconsciousness by any means I am aware that I did some redirecting of where I was placing my priorities, and I wanted to empty myself of mySelf for awhile. I am not sure that is on the scale of “good or bad”, I do know that a part of me loves NOT taking it all so, I don’t know, seriously? intensely? At the same time I am also aware that when I listen to that voice I easily get seduced into a lot of old bad habits that add inches to my belly and have me cleaning my plate and lying around on the couch, rather then doing the things that I know that my body, mind, and spirit really desire. So I arrived back from my vacation and road trip to, a desire or addiction, not look at mySelf. To not look at what I did or didn’t DO while I was up at the cottage and on the road trip back. To avoid being with what I didn’t do to take care of mySelf and to busily justify all of my self betrayal as necessary in order to take care of my Mom, which was the primary focus of my time at the cottage. I must also have needed a break of some sort, so I will give myself a bit of a break now and ease up on the self judgment and realize that I am back now and I am starting today with my commitments to mySelf and that is a good thing.
After the flip
Wow! A whole new possibility to move through another 100k in a vehicle that I love
One of the things that happened on the way home was that the odometer on my car flipped over to 100,000 miles. This was a new experience for me to buy a car new and drive it for that distance and to still feel great about the car and like I could drive it for another 100K. There is a metaphor in there for my relationship with mySelf and where I am in my life. I have reached that flipping point where I am entering my next 100K and I am really liking this car I am driving around in. Sure the judgments are there and the self critical attitude still happens and it happens more and more in a frame of how great my life is and love of mySelf. So I really feel great about this car/self I am moving around life in and sure it needs to be maintained with love and attention and it needs to be fixed up and detailed and tweaked and cleaned out, but it is cool nonetheless. So in this flipping over of my odometer I am recommitting to 1/3 – 2/3s, I am going to complete my homework assignments for Black Lodge and I am going to fulfill my agreements to writing the book and to Karen and CTI. Because I know that those commitments and agreements serve me and I am clear that writing about my consciousness and my failures and successes here also serves me. So here’s to the next 100,000 miles!