It is a beautiful day here at Dillon Beach. I am having an extremely hard time cranking myself up to write anything and I have so many writing things to do. So I thought I would start here where I can bitch and moan a bit about it all first and then maybe I could move on to “serious” writing work. It’s not only the bitching and moaning that happens here it is also the recovering from bitching and moaning that I am hoping for. It feels like I am pulling myself slowly out of some sort of muck or quicksand as I reach to the keyboard and write this. There is so much suck pulling me down to my xbox or Lazyboy and a magazine or a book, so much pull to just pack it in for another day and get my life started tomorrow or Wednesday. Yeah on Wed. I have an all day meeting, that would “force” me to get going on something. All this other stuff is putoffable. So as I reach out of the muck and suck I reach up to this keyboard and know that I am here now, and I am writing now, I am moving out of whatever is pulling me into the other place and moving into the place where I told mySelf I would go. I am playing the role of the reluctant hero in my own story. The hero who is moving on down the road to his destiny, to all of the things that he knows are down there and all of the obstacles and monsters and feats of will, spirit, heart, and strength that face him on this journey. It isn’t a journey of Lazyboys and xbox’s I am afraid. It is a journey of facing all the muck in the basement and cleaning it out, until that basement is squeaky clean. Then it is about furnishing the upstairs rooms with beauty and simplicity and landscaping the outside of the place so that all of the paths and roads that lead away from this house are well marked and tended. Then to travel down those paths and see what is down there or out there, making sure to come back to the house and keep it clean and bright.
So that is the journey from muck to consciousness. I am back on it for today and who knows I may have to keep crawling out of that muck for many days to come, or maybe I really am out for awhile. Only tomorrow will be able to tell that story. Today’s story is one in which our hero will finish writing this and then get to writing on something else for a bit (maybe a bit of Black Lodge homework), take a break and maybe go for a walk on the beach or a swim at the pool and come back and write a bit on the “shitty first draft” of the book, or at least write out some more notes. Then I will sit back and put my feet up, maybe take a hot tub and settle down and watch a movie. I am so freaking lucky and appreciative to have the life I do where I can be so privileged to be able to write what I just wrote, not just being able to write it but being able to live it and even more amazing is to “suffer” over it, what privilege! What good fortune! Oh well it’s off to the salt mines of my life and the “hard” work of having to live my “difficult and mucky” existence. 😉 😉 😉