It’s All Good

DSC00233It’s All Good. Three words that define the nature and truth of the universe and the truth about any struggle that is happening in mySelf. Thanks to the loving comments from some of the folks that have been reading these words that I put up here as a way to open up my consciousness and to keep integrating this amazing Self that I am into a fully conscious human being. All of the battling, melting, dipping, crashing, fighting of dragons, failure, resistance, and any of the other apparently disparaging words I have used in describing my journey ARE GOOD. They are explorations into the journey of my spirit, mind, body and emotions. During these explorations my spirit sometimes sags, my mind farts, my body has pains, and my emotions are nasty and sucky. These are all great teachers and guides on this journey of light. I recognize that when I am in one of those “negative” spaces, I don’t feel or sound very “good” or “positive” about mySelf or my journey. I’ve not yet developed as a writer in a way that I can express the completeness of the experience of the journey. When I am caught in the crap I think I write like that is all there is and I am a hopeless critter that is stuck melting and battling for ever. I know that isn’t true when I write it, and in fact I am often writing it to slog through it so that I can feel mySelf back on solid ground again. I know that when I am writing about being in a battle between light and shadow, or fighting a dragon, or feel the pull of the angel and the devil, I am dramatizing the struggle I am feeling inside. I also know that this struggle is a good thing, it means I am doing my work, I am on my own hero’s journey which sometimes has battles and monsters on it and sometimes has celebrations and rescued damsels on it, sometimes victories and sometimes defeats where I have to go back and do some healing work. It’s All Good.

The most important thing for me is to keep writing, keep looking and keep my feet going down the path of consciousness and integration. Part of the challenge to mySelf is to learn how to write it out more paradoxically somehow, maybe more poetically, who knows. I do know that second guessing what is coming out of me at this point isn’t a good idea and going back and doing a lot of editing of this kind of writing isn’t a good idea. Although I do need to learn to do that kind of writing too, the kind where I really am more committed to you the reader understanding and being entertained then I am to my own learning. Perhaps there is some kind of writing that gets both jobs done. I’ll keep on slogging and flying and see where it all goes.

4 responses to “It’s All Good

  1. Hi Henry – It’s Heather from Antares. I found your blog earlier this week after seeing Will Corley tweet you about your blog. I checked it out and immediately thought that you might be interested in reading a similar venture I created. The beginning bits remind me of the parts of your blog that I’ve read this week and you can check them out at http://www.becomingattachable.com/2007/11/

    I started it as a way to organize my thoughts, give me something easy to look back on, and collect and name the resources that were helpful to me. I have a quote section that changes with each page refresh that even has a quote from fellow Antares Tim Batdorf. Over and over again he would say, Slow is Fast. This has become my theme.

    Leadership was a really profound experience for me. R1 especially began to wake me up to how I had never really known who I was, what this self was that I was creating from. I had been so completely focused on external measures/guides to who I was. Shortly after the completion of R4 my life began to unfold. I had begun to get to know myself in a new way but within a year something happened that would threaten the future of my emerging self. I came to recognize that despite all my efforts to hold things together my life was coming undone. I finally decided to just give in and let my life come apart. I had used all the tricks up my sleeve. I needed something different.

    For the last three and a half years I have been on sabbatical and have been doing great work with my longstanding therapist Andrea whom I mention often in the blog. I am only now about to return to work in the next few months. If I had known this would take me three and a half years, I’m not sure I would have started. But if I had known I would feel this much better at the end of it all I would have relaxed into the process a lot quicker. I just wasn’t able to do that at the beginning.

    The blog is mostly for myself so the posts aren’t categorized well and there is little description of my story for new readers to use to help orient themselves. But I thought you might like knowing the existence of this blog, and that it might help you feel like you had another form of company on this journey of yours.

  2. SMILING BIG at your current post! Your writing IS PERFECT, as it is YOUR process! Let it rip exactly as nature brings it on…no editiing….no judgments or “crafting” it into something….you think it “should” be. As you know….it’st NOT for us….it is for YOU!! Sparkle on & enjoy the ride!

    HUGE Love & Laughter to you…and a big hug to Karen too.

    Leann

  3. The process of writing and of exploring the self are so intwined – both involve going down into the darkness and then up into the light. It’s not good – it’s not bad – it is the journey of life and of creativity.

    I find different medium allow me to express myself and different aspects of my journey differenty – a private journal which is quite raw and untamed a coaching blog aimed at a niche (very focused), a facebook status update (whatever I am in the now), twitter (short and sweet)- sometimes they are expressing same aspects of the journey – sometimes different ones – which fascinates me. I’ve been feeling the need to start a different blog – one that allows me to express my journey more fully. (I’ve just started it today at http://practicalmysticmusings.wordpress.com/)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s