Inklings of Transformation

HenryPipeI am here. I am here in Dillon Beach, at my desk, writing in this blog.

I was sitting on the rim of a canyon with 30 or so beautiful spirits soaking up the teachings and the sun for the last two weeks. I was moving rocks and creating beauty on and with the land. I was sinking into the truth of who I am and looking at what that really means.

Does the butterfly feel different in itself then it did as a caterpiller?

Does the butterfly feel different in itself then it did as a caterpiller?

I was looking into Transformation in mySelf and in the world. It is interesting what I have found. I have been working with transformation for years and have always thought it was about changing something or someone. In some circumstances and realities that is probably still quite true. One of the interesting things I have discovered over the last 2 weeks is that transformation is actually about MAKING REAL the shifts or changes that have already been made and then sticking with them. So, once I have opened up my consciousness and become more aware of mySelf and my World, I have done the work to clean out my basement and continue to do so, I have dedicated mySelf to a path and started the journey down that path, I have seen the Dream Of Life unfolding in front of me and my dreams merging with the unfolding one, I am clear on how to keep mySelf in balance and harmony, then the job of transformation is to lock all of that into place in this body and in this time and to fill me, or whomever is being transformed, with spirit. Transformation is complete when the body, mind and emotions are filled with the spirit and spirit is running the show. There is a palpability to it. There is a rightness. There is an “of course”. There is a sense of everything being both more real and less real at the same time.

So this is where I have been and what I have been up to. I returned home from this ceremony not feeling as “changed” as I have from previous ceremonies and yet feeling more complete and substantial. I feel more real somehow, and yet I don’t feel like I have added much more to the knowledge I carry in my brain. I was having dinner with Karen last night and she touched my arm and then my shoulder and exclaimed that she felt me more then she had before. It felt like she was saying that the me that was inside my body, my heart and my spirit, had moved out, expanded, and was closer to my skin, that I was actually filling up this big beautiful body with ME more then I ever have before. In that moment I got this insight as to what I had been up to these last two weeks in the desert, and what transformation really means.

I am in the question about this blog and my Moderation 1/3 2/3s program. I know that this blog serves me well in staying conscious and keeping the harmony and balance of all of the parts of me. I know that the program that I have created for mySelf and particularly the body part of mySelf is a good one. I also know that I have been working the program in a halfassed kind of way for the last 6 months or so. The blog and the writing have become more important to me then the program. Yet every time I think of just dropping the program it feels like I am letting mySelf down. So the only thing for me to do is to recommit to the program and follow the Four Agreements: 1) Be impeccable in my thoughts, words and actions. 2) Make no assumptions. 3) Don’t take anything personally. and 4) Do my best (this is my favorite, because it takes away any of the nonsense I can make up about the other 3).

8 responses to “Inklings of Transformation

  1. Perhaps this blog has become a 1/3 2/3 program. 1/3 is your moderation program and 2/3 is the great insights, deep honesty of human failings and spiritual learnings that you are noticing and sharing. I hear the importance of us witnessing you on your journey, and I personally am inspired by you, Henry.
    Love,
    Maurie

  2. Wow – what a solid post. I love the message – it’s not always about filling the brain. Instead, allow ourselves to fill us up, so to speak. Glad you are continuing with the blog.
    Love,
    Ally.

  3. Questions aren’t stop signs. They might not even be yield signs. They are just questions and they are frequent companions on our path. Let the come along for the ride if they wish but don’t let them determine your path.

  4. I love this quote on transformation by Tolle:

    ‘As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it…. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.’

    And this one by Ram Dass:

    ‘Our whole spiritual transformation brings us to the point where we realize that in our own being, we are enough.’

    In this post, you touch on both these key aspects of transformation – of being able to create a space to be filled up and of being able to be fully in our own being, knowing that we are more than enough. For me, as Maurie above said, the act of being witnessed as we tell our truth with integrity to ‘the centre of the circle’ (Palmer) is crucial – whether the circle be a close knit circle of three friends or the looser, more fluid circle of an internet community.

  5. Dearest DiamondBear Brother!

    I loved sinking into what you wrote, and the ‘seeing’ that Karen had of you, closer to the surface. I know I’m having difficulty merging back into a life with four walls around me…I’m banging into walls like I’m drunk. I know for sure it’s about transformation, and yet I’m not sure how to stop flying, or even sure if I WANT to stop flying.

    Thanks for all your being-ness.

  6. Hi Honey:

    I love this post (and beautiful picture of you) and most of all the question that you pose about the butterfly. Thanks for sending me off to the dream time with lovely thoughts!

  7. Henry,

    It’s neat to feel this shift in you… so much more freedom – transformation is happening all the time. I really do believe that the best moments for me are when the transformation finds me, rather than me finding it – where we can meet each other is where there is energy. It feels natural – something that we human beings tend to push away… thinking we have to do all the work. Realizing that there is a natural harmony can make things easier. Things like the change in seasons, is not work at all – it just happen, and we receive it. Seeking and effecting transformation is good too – until the focus no longer includes a harmony with transformation – things get a little unbalanced.

    There’s a peacefulness, a deepness here – simply (as someone else said) a being-ness.

  8. The Universe works in strange and magical ways. The “Word of the Day” hanging on the wall at work says, “BEING”. I like your question about the butterfly, “Does the butterfly feel different in itself then it did as a caterpiller?”. Does it feel? Or does it just “BE”? I think most creatures on this earth just “BE”. It’s natural for them, a true knowing. I often wonder why with our human-sized brain that we aren’t able to just “BE” and be comfortable with who we truly are. The transformation is within ourselves, to live the life we were given and to live it fully. Giving a high five to the “BEING” in all of us!

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