My Incredible Shrinking Friends

Like this onion we are so layered  Sometimes we need to peel some away  Sometimes we need to add some.

Like this onion we are so layered
Sometimes we need to peel some away
Sometimes we need to add some.

Yesterday I noticed a strange side effect of transformation. It was almost hallucinogenic in feel. Since I have been home from the canyon I had only seen one person, my beloved Karen, and I had been picturing her in my minds eye all the time I was gone, so when I came home there she was in all her glory in just the way I had been holding her. We spent some quality time together and I could really sense the wonderful differences in us and the separate realities that we each move in at a much deeper level of understanding. This is good as it bodes the end of all the co-dependence that has determined so much of my relationships with everyone I know. Their reality IS NOT the same as mine and most important in my relationship with this incredible woman that I am fortunate enough to spend the rest of my life with, I can’t ever assume that she is in the same reality that I am in again. This opens the door for me to be constantly curious and seeking to understand and know her reality. How is it over there? What is happening over there? This is what is going on over here and I am clear it may not be going on over there so what is going on over there? These are transformational ways of interacting with this one I love, and these are ways of interacting that have been asked for, begged for and argued for over the last 15 years and in my arrogance I never really got it. I preach and teach of the power of the curiosity of the child and know that I carry that curiosity, except when that co-dependent generalizing from myself occurs and then there is NO curiosity and only projection of the certainty of my experience onto her or whomever. This curiosity that I am talking about has a different feel then “the curiosity of the child”, it has more the feel of the curiosity of someone that is coming from a different universe that comes upon someone from earth and wants to know them and to experience what they experience. It is a spiritual curiosity.

All of this is preamble to my strange hallucinogenic experience of last night. I met up with some other friends of mine last night at a book club that I have been part of for the past four years. Most of the friends in this book club I have known and loved for longer then four years. As I met up with each of them something was quite different in what I saw and I had to keep checking with mySelf to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing. Everyone who I thought I knew so well seemed smaller, actually more compact versions of themselves. The space around them seemed larger in relationship to them then it had ever felt before. It was like the kitchen that I was seeing them all in was exactly as I remember it and someone had pointed a shrinking ray gun at my friends and they were there exact selves, only smaller in relation with the kitchen. I was a little freaked out internally at this bizarre sensation. Being me, I mentioned it and it didn’t communicate very well, understandably as I am always one who is wanting people to be bigger. How could I see these people I loved as SMALLER, it didn’t make any sense to me. As we ate our dinner and discussed the book we had read, the back of my minds were working on what this sensation was telling me. What about transformation was being revealed here, because it had to be about transformation as that was what I was up to most recently. I certainly hadn’t been doing any substances that would lead to this experience. Then it began to dawn on me. They were standing there in their own realities with none of the stuff I usually projected on them. What I had projected or assumed or believed about them actually changed them physically and I was now seeing them in their true size as opposed to the way I had “built them up”. This was a cool realization.

Maybe as we take off the layers we add to the people in our lives that we love and spend our time with they will actually get the opportunity to shrink down to who they really are and then it is up to them to grow into their own reality. It isn’t my job to inflate people or make them bigger. It is my job to point them to growing their consciousness about themselves and their world. However they must find it, open it and grow it themselves.

3 responses to “My Incredible Shrinking Friends

  1. I have been a silent reader and fan of your blog. Something about the melting entry and this one prompted me to send you this poem that I wrote:

    On the surface
    by David Skibbins

    Water beetles skim
    across the surface of the stream,
    unsuspecting busy bait
    for trout who wait,
    watching from their cool dark holes.

    I also scurry, but I ache
    for that still Sturgeon of God
    to stir,
    to whip it’s way up from below,
    to strike,
    to pierce it’s pointed teeth
    into my industrious mind,
    and drag me down.

  2. From the American author, Frederick Buechner:
    “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

    It sounds like you are listening to your life!


  3. Ahhhh, the Universe does provide….in the form of your post.

    Staying curious, not that innocent childlike “why”, but digging down deeply into that spiritual part where I am one complete, entire entity looking at another complete, entire entity, and both of us are totally different. I get hooked into thinking that because we all share similar characteristics like belly-buttons and digits, we’re all pretty much walking thru life on similar paths. BUT NO! ALAS! I don’t get to project my assumptions and generalizations onto you. I get to look at you as if you are an alien, and so am I, from different planets, where our references and our spheres never intersect. From that place, when I stand and see you, you get to be you, not something I wish you to be.

    Thank you Henry. I needed this message, direly, today. Thank you. Love, Shannon

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