Nothing Speaks Grandfather Energy To Me Like This Sea Turtle
Wheew, what a past week or so it has been. I got on the plane a week ago Thursday for NYC and a wild and beautiful group of Leadership Graduates, hung with them in my elder consciousness to the best of mySelf’s ability. I spoke, or should I say riffed, for an hour or so about consciousness and transformation, two of the most important things to be riffing about these days. I sat in my ease and just let it flow and as I let it flow, I would take these connective pauses and look out and see in the audience people leaning forward hungry for more and I would see people leaning backwards and soaking it in like a meditation and I would see people falling asleep, and as I looked out there I would feel it was all good. I actually had the thought of when the grandfather gathers the generations around him and tells a story or does a slide show of his first trip to Australia, and all the ways that the family gather around him. Like that grandfather I was fine and not having a single controlling or insecure thought going through me, like “wake up this is important” or “everyone SHOULD like me and respect me enough to at least pretend like they do”. Those old reactions now belong to a powerful past. A past where I KEPT people awake and didn’t honor their dreaming time because what I had to say and do was important and it needed attention. I needed attention. As I looked around that dance studio in NYC and riffed on about all that wanted to flow from me I didn’t NEED that attention at all. I was just completely enjoying mySelf and whatever was bubbling up for me in the moment. I was feeling into the “WE” and loving everyone. It was a good feeling. When I was done, I didn’t care if it was “good” or not, I didn’t care whether people got “value” or not and I didn’t care if anyone even understood what I had said. I had just said what I wanted to say in that moment and was complete. I was available, as a good grandfather is, to be appreciated and loved and respected. I was fine with any feelings of challenge and question, and so I didn’t notice it much if it was there. I finished and left the room feeling more complete then I ever have felt after being in front of a group of people.
I left NYC and flew to NC to meet up with the Chickadees. This elder energy followed me there and I had an entirely different leading experience. I have sought the elder energy before in Leading the Leadership Program and found it illusive and hard to hold onto. That old warrior would pop his head in to the circle and insist that he run the show. There was always something to fight for. I still felt the importance of the work in my heart and I still felt the need to fight for the higher selves in the room and to make very little room for the destructive selves to come in and set up camp. I just didn’t feel the need to work so hard at it. I had some moments of warrior energy where I stepped up with my fierceness and pointed the way. However these moments came out of a place of patience and compassion that allowed things to move on the way they were for a bit longer then I would have in the past. To allow my emotions to settle down some and to step into some of the tools I have learned in the Black Lodge around Emotional Stability. So I hung back in my patience and let the emotions roll through me, keeping an eye on them and then I would go back and grab one and bring it forward,put it into my heart or gut and step out into the battle with the consciousness destructive energies. As I would go out into that energy I felt less like a warrior and more like a medicine man and a grandfather using all of the resources in me and around me to stand patiently in the blast of wind as those destructive energies stormed up and then blew away. I would sit mySelf back down into my elder chair next to my brilliant co-leader Rick Tamlyn and breathe into the next moment. It ended up being a beautiful and loving week with the Chickadees with wings aflutter and beaks chirping as we all headed of for our little migrations around this wonderful world.