I also got my riff of the day written. I wrote a riff on Assumptions. My assumptions about it are that it is alright and there is a deeper cut that I could take on it. Stay tuned.
I did a contemplation, instead of a meditation, out on the deck yesterday and sank into the gorgeous day and contemplated water.
Food – I am not recalibrated yet to my moderation and restraint program. I am back to some old cleaning plate habits. Although the size of the plates I am cleaning are smaller then they used to be, they aren’t as small as I would like them to be in the Moderation 1/3 model. So I will keep tuning that down in the next few days and see what emerges.
Ok that’s it for accountability. Now what am I noticing as I dive down into my consciousness? What am I noticing as I contemplate water? What am I noticing about “holding down the fort” while Karen/Golden Elk is off in the desert getting a spiritual tune up? I am noticing that the volume of the voice of the judge and the emotional reactions has been turned way down. I sometimes don’t even hear them or feel them, and when I do it seems like their voices are not very powerful. There is such a patience that this Bear/Turtle/elder self has with all of that and the voice of that patience is becoming so much more powerful, like a whisper with force behind it or the sound of a pin dropping in a vast silent space. It has such clarity and at the same time is so respectful and easy. If I am headed in a direction that isn’t on the high road, there is no judgment in that voice at all their is only understanding and a knowing that I will find the high road again, and that sometimes a little side trip on the low road is educational. And although I miss Golden Elk/Karen I am not having those old familiar “lost” feelings of wandering around the house not quite sure what I should do. My life is filled with creative possibilities and excellent time wasting opportunities in any given moment and this Bear/turtle voice would love to see me stepping into the creative possibilities and at the same time understands a little time wasting every now and then. It’s fascinating to not feel so dominated by that judge voice.Water – Moriella – It’s interesting that as I sit here and write I look out at a vast ocean and the music playing while I am writing has a flute with some babbling stream in the background, almost like the flute is jamming with the stream. Water all around me. In the medicine work I am doing water is the element in the south and is associated with emotions. So as I look out at the vast ocean I am aware of the vastness of emotions, of the depth of them and the opportunity they give us to navigate to distant shores of possibility. As I hear the flute jam with the stream I feel into the emotions running through me as music and I feel my ability to jam with them and am aware that they don’t run the show, they are just part of the music. As I swim and feel my body moving through the delightful water and feel mySelf held up by it, floating on it, and gliding through it, I feel mySelf relating to my emotions that way. I let them hold me up, I let mySelf float on them, aware that at any moment I could hold my breath and dive deeply into them, swim around for awhile and come up for another breath of clarity and air. I can also feel mySelf gliding though emotions and noticing them flowing past me and around me and not stopping me.
Tonight I dream with the bowl of my pipe.