I am shifting some things around. I am breaking up some habits so that I can move into some new levels of consciousness. I am reading more and listening to more music. I am filling an empty time in my calendar with some writing instead of filling it with some idle computer wandering. I am stepping back into a life lived with intention and commitment rather then a life lived accidentally, based on whatever my calendar feeds me. And I am using my calendar as a way to break up my routines and habits.Big decision. I am going to be spending my birthday alone this year. Karen will be away at Black Lodge for the next two birthdays and I want to use the opportunity of her being away and my birthday as a time to do something extraordinarily good for mySelf and something that may not be that easy to incorporate into my life. I am going to wake up EARLY, before 6, get in the car, before I can think about it, and head off to the swimming pool. Be in the water by 6:30ish, swim, come home, meditate, shower, blog, and start into the rest of my day by 10ish. I am going to do that for the last two weeks in March, while Karen is gone, every day. Whew it is hard to write that down and commit to it and it could be life changing. It could also be the worst idea I have ever had. However I won’t know if I don’t do it. So, the next couple of weeks is to get mySelf energetically ready for this extraordinary push. My intention is that I will feel so right about it that I will incorporate it into my life whenever I am home. This is in response to the fact that I need to move my body and the way I love to do it most is in water. This struggle to move my body that seems to run me from behind I think will never go away. The struggle remains and the recognition that it doesn’t matter if it is a struggle or not, it simply must be. I know mySelf well enough now to know that I function best in the struggle to move my body early in the morning with as few obstacles between me and the moving as possible. So if my swim bag is packed and my shoes are beside the bed and I have psyched myself up the night before, I roll over when the alarm goes off and my feet hit the shoes and the pants and shirt go on and I am out the door while rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and before my brain has a chance to kick in I am rolling down the road and headed towards the water. This is a good thing.
The other good thing is that I just finished Michael Pollan’s “Defense of Food” and recognized mySelf in it. I am amazed at the program I set up a year ago “Moderation 1/3 2/3s” and how so much of what I “realized” about my eating and consciousness was completely validated by this book. Not that I need validation, my expanded consciousness and clear sense of “rightness” about this life style was plenty, and it was truly wonderful to hear how so much of what I am looking to create for mySelf and my relationship to food, eating and exercise is what he talks about in his book. This time I thought it up first, based on what made sense to me and lo and behold the universe found more information for me just when I was starting to slip back into old ways of being around food and exercise. Pretty amazing that universe, the way it supports a good thing with lots of the right info at the right time. So it’s back to Moderation 1/3 2/3s. There will be some accountability here that some of you loyal readers will have to wade through to get to the stuff you come to read, oh well it is my blog after all and it is still primarily for me that I am writing it.
Inwards, Onwards & Upwards