These four words got me to the pool this morning. Well those four words got me over the hump that my aching, whining, butt bedragging self was trying to put in front of my commitment. What actually got me up and out was my commitment. As the aloneness and the missing of Karen starts to hit and add it’s weight to the aching and whining the hump I am crawling over in the morning seems to get that much larger. I am fully aware that this is also a phase to pass through and all the same I am grateful for those four words and for the commitment that saw me through last night as I packed up my swim bag and got it ready for the one that my committed self of last night knew was probably going to be waking up this morning. Now here I am after another successful sunrise swim, meditation, shower, tea and breakfast, writing in this blog, and I am holding mySelf accountable and in a way so are all you readers out there, thanks.
I have been reading Barbara Kingsolver’s book “Animal Vegetable Miracle” (great book by the way) and in addition to being a great book about eating locally and a year in a family’s life while growing their own food and, as much as possible, getting the rest of the food from other local sources, it also has some great recipes that are organized by the season that the ingredients are ripe and delicious in.Well last night I cooked an asparagus and morel mushroom bread pudding that was in the book and I gotta say it was incredibly scrumptious. The asparagus, wild morels, shallots and cheese all came from the farmers market and local farmers. I had both green and purple asparagus thinking that the color would be interesting, not realizing that color isn’t really that important in something like this, except for that amazing color of browned cheese on the top of something with all sorts of goodies in it. I had never used morel mushrooms before. I had heard of them, of course, and seen them in stores in the early spring before and I had always thought at over $20 a pound I would use some other mushroom that was cheaper. Well I gotta say I have never tasted any mushroom like this before and mixed into this savory bread pudding it was so wonderful and unbelievably earthily delicious. The recipe and my collection of pans made it necessary for me to make a whole big dish of it that you see in the picture. Have no fear though it was my whole dinner last night and I had some with a couple of pasture raised fried eggs this morning and I will probably be having a piece or two for the next few days. I love discovering new things, sensations, tastes, smells and sights. I love adding variety and savoring all that life has to offer. I love eating what the earth offers up for me to eat when it offers it up. I love that morel mushrooms and asparagus are fresh and here now and won’t be in a couple of weeks (unless they are brought over many miles, which in the case of morels gets ridiculously and completely outrageously prohibitive, and although I am not completely sure of this it is impossible to have fresh morels in any other season then spring and spring only occurs once in each hemisphere, leaving 2 seasons completely out of reach for morel lovers.) which makes it all the more fun to find ways to savor and enjoy what is here now.
Maybe that’s what’s next for me on the achey and whiney mornings is to look to how I can savor and enjoy what is here right now. Savor and enjoy the achey and whiney self that I am being and keep moving forward over the humps. Just treat every morning like it is a new season with new treats to savor and soak in, even though I am committing to a repeated routine. That routine is never the same it has it’s seasons and cycles and each season and cycle has it’s own special flavors and feels and if I stumble through a cycle believing it is just the same as all the other cycles I will miss the season and the morels and asparagus of my mornings will be lost in the stumbling belief that it is all just fast food to be gotten through so I can get on to the really important “work” of the day. Sigh….. boy oh boy to so many of us humans live like that and boy oh boy would it be so grand if we could just savor and enjoy the seasons and cycles that bring new gifts in every moment.