I came home to a truly compelling conversation that is going on in another group I am working with all about intimacy and love. One of the stands that I am taking in the world and that CTI and Leadership are taking in the world is that we need to open up our abilities to be more intimate and authentic in our relationships. We need to not be living in so much fear of being close and connected to each other. We need to allow ourselves to love each other in all sorts of ways. We are in the process of distancing ourselves from each other in so many ways. We are becoming frightened of each other. We are losing our abilities to trust and touch each other and ourselves. If we humans stay on this path we are headed for lives of loneliness and separation and fear. We need to bring in our physical boundaries and be able to connect physically with each other and know the difference between intimate connection and sex. We need to know how to stabilize our emotions and know the difference between the love of a mate and the love of the one I am with. We need to be able to explore and find our own boundaries and we need to give others the space to explore and find their boundaries without getting all caught up in the fears of possessiveness and jealousy.
We need to know that the everyday love of a marriage or a committed relationship will not always have romance and magic, and yet we need to also know that every moment in that marriage has the potential for romance and magic. If we take that romance and magic and put it into another intimate connection and keep just the all important everyday love in the marriage we force ourselves into a dreadful choice. It feels like we are choosing between a life of romance and magic and a life of everyday problems. Who wants to make that choice? Who wants to be the one in the relationship that is “everyday”? Everyone wants the magic and the romance. The only problem is that we can’t really ever leave the everyday world behind. If we make the choice to go with the romance and magic, we will inevitably find ourselves back in the everyday wondering what happened? So what to do? I think that we have to keep opening ourselves to emergence, romance, magic, adventure, fun and most of all deep and unexplored intimacy and at the same time we are exploring that we need to be absolutely looking at our visions for clarity, stability, love, and the kind of commitment that only comes from STAYING. We need to keep training our world to be more and more intimate and to meet our deepening need for intimacy and authenticity. We need to bring back the discoveries from our explorations and light up our worlds with them. We need to believe that love and trust are stronger then fear and distance and stay with the discomfort of change. We also need to know when to draw the line and say no, we need to know when the vision ends and it is time to move on and then move on. All of these actions take great courage and strength of emotion and spirit.
My heart breaks for all those that are out in the world working hard to open that world up to intimacy and connection and are running into impossible choices. The kind of choices that can lead to pulling back the intimacy and joining the frightened and disconnected. My deepest desire is that regardless of the choices that get made when we are faced with a scared world that the vision and the desire for intimacy and connection burns like a fire in our hearts and we will choose what we need to choose in order to make life work around us and then move forward in some other way to deepen connection and intimacy and to be a stand for being real and authentic with our world.
Blessings of love and intimacy to all humans as we become more and more conscious.