Life in Retrograde

What is going on? Today is Friday. I am Henry Kimsey-House and I am known in some circles as Diamond Bear.

OK what part is needing what color?
What part has gone on vacation?
What part needs a massage?

For some reason my life, my consciousness, the universe, or something in me or out there is throwing down all sorts of challenges to consciousness and just pain in the ass things, some of which are due to consciousness and some are do to age and weather. I hope that is all they are due to because there is one in my circle that is beginning to wonder if I am losing whole sections of my fabulous mind.

As we discussed yesterday I discovered that the on/off switch was down to off and I didn’t know it until I discovered right before I went to bed that I had worn my shirt inside out all day long and not noticed it. The scary truth is that it wasn’t the first time that has happened in the last couple of weeks. I went in to get my haircut just prior to my anniversary celebration with Karen and my wonderful haircutter Willa noticed that my shirt was inside out and asked me, as haircutters are wont to do praise the universe, if it was a new fashion statement or not and I said that it wasn’t and she offered her bathroom for a correction. Then I discover a week or so later that I do the same thing again. Then after I wrote in this very blog I went home and started making a delectable soup from my leftover ham and some beans. Things started getting busy and it was raining and I looked at a wall in our newly decorated kitchen and noticed that the paint was bubbling as if there were water running down the wall between the paint and the wall. Soup is still simmering and this great guy, Mike, who happens to be the husband of my amazing assistant Christina comes over to talk a project over that he is going to do for us. He is a finish carpenter and is going to build us a beautiful display shelving unit for our knick knacks. Well after we talked about that project I showed him the wall in the kitchen with the bubbling paint and he asked how old the roof was. I said as old as the house about 20 years. He said I am going to need to get a roofer out here, bummer. Soup is still simmering away. Oh my gosh I am late for the CTI bowling party down in San Rafael. I say goodbye to Mike get my shoes on and get in the car. I get to the bowling alley and park the car, about an hour and change away from the house and realize that the soup is still simmering. I slap myself on the forehead and think what an idiot I am. I then think that it is a big pot with lots of water in it and I am here at the CTI bowling party where everyone is expecting me, so in I go. I bowl with the gang for the first time in over 25 years and I am definitely out of practice but we have a fun time anyway. I am headed out with Karen and I mention the soup and I also mention that I think that there is enough water in it to hold it while we have a quick dinner and then I scoot home. I get home and of course the place is full of smoke and there is this beautiful green stock pot on the stove with blackened goo running down the sides and a solid hellish blackened mass inside the pot. I quickly turn off the stove, which of course I should have done 4 or 5 hours earlier and open every door and window and turn on every vent fan in the place. I stop after good air starts replacing smoke and thank what ever fortune is out there that the place didn’t burn down and go to sleep to the best of my abilities in a smoky smelling house.

I wake up 40 minutes before the alarm clock goes off and the house still smells like burnt soup, but a bit better, or is that just my nose getting used to it? Then I grab my swim bag and head in for my swim. I’m tired and a bit dazed from all of the consequences of my unconsciousness and I get to the pool, a half hour from my house, grab my swim bag and realize that I left my wallet at home which has my money and pool pass. No money and no pool pass means no swim. I slap my head yet again, in my imagination this time, and begin to wonder if I am getting Alzheimer’s disease or am I in some way slipping into consciousness regression of some sort. I mean I didn’t do these kind of things before I opened up my consciousness. So here I am more enlightened then I have ever been in my life and I am putting on my shirts inside out, leaving the house with pots simmering, forgetting my wallet at home. What is up with that?

For now I am going to hold the “rule of three” with this. That stuff like this comes in threes and I have had my three and I am now returning to a profoundly conscious way of living my life where I put my clothes on all by myself and I don’t burn down the house and I remember things like wallet and keys. I am also going to imagine that there is something REALLY big trying to work it’s way into my consciousness and it needs some room cleared out so it is experimenting with what can be temporarily cleared out so that the REALLY big thing can find it’s way in. I think I like imagining that one. Just let me temporarily lose the part that forgets to brush my hair or floss my teeth instead of burning down the house.

Tomorrow I go swimming and I don’t forget my friggin wallet.

9 responses to “Life in Retrograde

  1. What immediately comes up for me, following your line of expanding consciousness needing room is something like this: what you want is more presence – presence to how you put on your shirt, presence to a boiling soup pot, presence to what you pack in your swim bag. This used to be handled by the ego mind in a more default kind of way. As you switch off the default button and move more from the presence on-button, there may be a period of recalibration and shift that feels a bit lost and fuzzy. I had this funny image of the ego mind getting pissed-off that you aren’t letting it run the show anymore so it’s going on strike “that’ll teach him! Now he’ll see how much he needs me! He’ll find out that consciousness and presence is mostly absent-mindedness” LOL It’s practice, like you’ve said in prior posts. OH – gotta run, I have a call in 3 and I’ve not been paying attention 🙂

  2. I love the reframing here: “I am also going to imagine that there is something REALLY big trying to work it’s way into my consciousness and it needs some room cleared out so it is experimenting with what can be temporarily cleared out so that the REALLY big thing can find it’s way in.”

    Always looking for the learning, always looking for the growth, because you KNOW it’s happening…but, oh where to find it!!

    And still, I wonder if wearing one’s shirt inside out isn’t just what you need to gain some sort of perspective…

  3. Hmmm…seems like the Agent of Chaos has been visitng you of late. I’m not sure the purpose of Agent Chaos’ missions, but they are quite irritating. And, it makes life interesting at times too. I’m still trying to figure out how to life with the Agent.

    I’m glad you and your home are all right. Maybe it was time to get a new stew pot.

  4. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Take it easy, move on. Sometimes over analyzing the universe signs kills the massage. swim on!

    p.s.- I miss you 🙂

  5. Henry, it sounds like you may be talking to yourself about whether or not you are being conscious… and I notice over here I think the more powerful question is WHAT are you being conscious about?

    It’s not that you’re UNconscious or have Alzheimer’s — it’s that other forms of consciousness are taking precedence at the expense of others.

    You can’t be conscious of *everything* — that much consciousness would kill you! (No joke.)

    Consciousness is like air in an under-inflated balloon — it’s always there, but it moves around depending on where the balloon is squeezed or “pressured.” If you imagine that consciousness is a constant, where does your consciousness GO?

    For instance, I get it that you weren’t conscious of whether or not your shirt was inside-out. Okay, so you’re not exactly Mr. Fashion-conscious. That’s no newsflash! You don’t strike me as a clothes-horse Gucci fashion kinda guy. So I wonder WHAT was consuming your consciousness at the times you were getting dressed that took precedence.

    It sounds as if consciousness about relationship and renewed CTI connection may have drowned out a dim glimmer of consciousness about the reality of soup cooking. It sounds like consciousness about an old roof (a big financial challenge!) took precedence over consciousness about taking your wallet swimming.

    Over here I’m more interested in the question of where consciousness is GOING. (Related, of course, to my ongoing fascination with the typology of consciousness that plays out in each of us. :-D)

    AND maybe I misunderstood what you were writing about, and went off into my own habitual forms of consciousness that got in the way of reading you accurately. 😛

    -Vicky Jo 😀

  6. A little lapse of consciousness myself this morning. I am here at my favorite coffee shop – a place where I frequently come with journal and books for some contemplative practices. And sometimes with my computer for some blogging – or, I’ll be honest, FB games 🙂 This morning, I arrived and discovered that my tote bag with journal and books and brilliantly jotted notes is at home. Only the computer with me … and so, I settled down with my Americano and caught up on your blog.

    Not just inspiring. It awakens within me a hunger for more meaning in my life. Or maybe, just to be more present to it?

    Bless you!

  7. I’ve left town for the day with a gas burner slightly open (but no flame), making the whole house smell like gas when I got home. Worse, I’ve been home all day with a gas burner slightly open and not known it until someone else came in and said they smelled gas.

    It’s those days when I need a consciousness transplant.

  8. Thanks for this reminder that I can be an awesome creator and catalyst for HUGE shifts of consciousness in the world while still dealing with my own seismic events….. I don’t have to “make myself perfect” before I can do great things! Yay!!!

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