Karen said something remarkable to me yesterday. She said that, when we were in the Whole Foods Market earlier in the day and that I was in the check out line ahead of her and talking with the young man who was bagging our groceries, she noticed that I was radiating light, glowing, that the light in me was just coming out of me. That moved me not just because it was one of those moments that you are being seen deeply by your beloved, it also moved me because I wasn’t feeling any more like I was radiating in that moment then any other moment in the day leading up to that moment. I also didn’t feel like I was ‘doing’ or ‘emanating’ or even ‘practicing’ radiating light or love. I was just having a sweet conversation with this nice young man about my tshirt and how it reminded him of a blanket he used to have as a kid. I did notice that he was relating to me like he had known me his whole life and that we had probably had many encounters both here at Whole Foods and maybe even that he was sort of reminding me, like I would have remembered, that he had an old blanket in the same combination of colors that this new wolf tshirt that I was wearing had. I guess my point is that I discovered that I can’t really tell when I am ‘radiating’ light and when I am not. I can intend and practice and commit and even try to radiate light and love and sometimes I’ll be successful and sometimes I won’t. I can also somehow tune my receivers to notice when I am doing it without any effort behind it.
It sort of goes back to my whole thing in Leadership about Responsibility for Impact. I can be responsible by being out in front of the impact with all sorts of intention and powerful commitments and actions and I can also work on getting very conscious of the impact I am having and owning it and taking responsibility for it.
I am also aware that all of my practice and continued learning and working does make a difference in my moments when I am not ‘practicing’, when I am just in line at the grocery store and not thinking about practicing or even conscious about being conscious. I am just in the flow of relationship and life and seeing what unfolds and there I am all lit up. The trick is now to add to my awareness that I am lit up and know that taking responsibility for that doesn’t mean doing anything with it is just about noticing and appreciating what the impact is on me and the world around me. This is a subtle practice because it is asking the ego to completely step out of the picture, the ego will want to grab a hold of it and then put it down stage center with a big spot light on it and say “look ain’t I swell” and then of course all of that light and love that is being radiating sucks right back inside. Another thing that will be helpful in this practice is getting some help, particularly from Karen, in noticing after the fact more for me what is the nature of my light and radiation. I know that we are all radiating beings made of light and energy that is always radiating and it’s like we have these shutters over it or a dimmer switch that we grab ahold of and keep that light dimmed. Like Carlos Santana says “Put Your Lights On”.