“Rubber Meets The Road & Recovering To Stake”

I was working on my book yesterday with my co-author David Skibbins and he asked me to write a “riff” on two things, which sometimes works out to be one thing doesn’t it? The first is “Rubber Meets The Road”, by this I think I am to write about the importance of Co-Active Leadership in the world and the importance of Leaders having Quests. I am to be looking at and writing about what happens when participants leave the Leadership Program and go back out into their worlds as Co-Active Leaders without the structure of the program at their backs. Not necessarily what happens to individuals, some of whom we talk about in the book, but what happens ideally, what is designed to happen, what we hope and believe is what is happening. The second thing I am to write about is “Recovering To Stake”. Even though we hope and believe that profound co-active leadership is happening out there in the world we are aware that sometimes we all get pulled off point, we get pulled to the old habits and ways we have of “getting through life”. How do we find our way back to our power and our quests, and most importantly once we find our purpose again how do we ‘recover to the stake’ of our quests and projects and work we are doing in the world?

Two big topics indeed, and of course this being MY blog and not the book or an advertisement for CTI or it’s Leadership Program it is perfect I am writing about these two things on this particular morning as I am feeling a bit disconnected from my stake and in some ways my rubber is bouncing around on the road and off the road and sometimes nowhere near the road. So I realize for me to get a ‘riff’ to David I am going to need to edit out all of the stuff that has me searching, falling, fumbling, and not looking good (except of course where it may serve the development of the book or the character that is me in the book).

I am finding it hard to believe that I started this blog a year and a half ago and I have been contributing to it fairly frequently over that time. I started this blog out with a powerful intention and commitment to an integration of my body with the rest of me. My body had been relegated to the other side of the tracks of my world and the bad side of town. It got me through life and took lots of abuse and neglect. This wonderful body that I have since learned to love and respect much much more and have listened to and integrated into mySelf in ways unimaginable 2 years ago became a part of my Leader Quest. My quest is to brighten human consciousness and to foster it’s evolution. I discovered that I had been spending most of my life outwardly focused on some version of this quest and in the process ignored the consciousness that was key to the whole thing, my own. My integrated consciousness of body, mind, spirit, and emotions. The one that was most out of whack was my body, I was completely lost and had abandoned all of my wisdom that I had gained over the years around how my body likes to be taken care of and surrendered to popular wisdom and as a result yo-yoed back and forth in my weight and fitness for my whole life. After finding my quest again and realizing that the focus needed to be on me instead of outside of me I decided that I had all the wisdom I needed inside of me and created a program of moderation in everything having to do with my body, and I saw that blogging about it would be an excellent way to hold mySelf accountable. As I took this inward journey with my body I was in the midst of an intense course of spiritual study with my teachers in New Mexico and as often happens in life these two things melded together perfectly and Moderation and Consciousness became excellent partners in keeping me pointed on my quest.

The ‘rubber had hit the road’ and I was living with a powerful stake and quest. I was finding deeper and deeper levels of consciousness that I was exploring and at the same time I could feel how happy my body was to be part of the family of me for real and I was being more successful in my world as well powerful conversation were happening and opportunities for shifting consciousness and pointing evolution were happening all around me along with the ones going on inside. The nature of my quest was morphing along the way which is natural and as I felt more and more integrated I let go of the importance of moderation and restraint and started moving on to other foundational foci, like swimming, Turtle medicine, savoring, and eating locally all wonderful and powerful explorations into consciousness and the rubber began to leave the road a bit around the stake, old habits began to show up with new faces and before I knew it I was skimming the surface and not touching the original road with my rubber much at all.

The thing that is different and that I have written about here many times is that with my deeper understanding of who I am and with the full integration of all my Selves I no longer can be lost or confused. I see very clearly what to do and how to do what I need to do. The choice is right there down and to the left, all I need to do is downshift and true up to what I know is needed both inside of me and what my focus in the world is with my quest. Because of this blog and of all the digging around in my basement that I have done I am clear what needs to happen and that I will return to it. The rubber is already starting to touch the road even more as I write this and I know it will be firmly down and heading down the highway of my quest with every breath I take. I will return to my program of moderation starting with lunch today, because I say so.

So I realize as I am writing this that there are two things that have the rubber meet the road. The first is practicing and practicing having the rubber meet the road in any and every way that we can, in our work, in our spiritual life, in our love life, in all areas of our lives. Practice, practice, practice. With that practice comes the wisdom that lays the road down solidly and when we start skimming above the surface of the road that wisdom will always let us know where that road is. This brings us to the second way to get the rubber on the road, Say So. Choose it, declare it, recover to it, look down and to the left and step in that direction.

The final piece of wisdom I want to talk about, albeit coming from a perfectly imperfect being such as mySelf, is to have a purpose, a mission, a stake, a reason, or whatever you might call it to recover to. Have something that truly is bigger then you or your habits that you feel calling you to that next place in your evolving life. Don’t worry about the way it sounds or the words that you use to express it, you actually never need to tell a soul your purpose if you don’t want to, instead feel the truth of it in your core. Feel it in the depths of your heart and your guts, that wisdom lurking there that is whispering to you constantly “You’re perfect just the way you are and take the next step.”

3 responses to ““Rubber Meets The Road & Recovering To Stake”

  1. Having and speaking out a purpose is so powerful – it was great in Leadership to keep exploring my purpose and refining it untill it felt totally congruent!

    I’ve been reflecting alot on the the importance of having and speaking out my purpose recently so this post has great resonance with me. When I feel off-balance, off-kilter, disconnected or frustrated, I find checking in with my selve and my purpose really helps me to recover. I’ve started to do a Conscious Embodiment (Wendy Palmer) Exericise with coaching clients where I get them to say their purpose or what they are wanting to bring into the world five times: 1st from their head, then their heart, then their hara (or belly). Then they feel themselves aligning all three places within and say it again. And then, I ask them to imagine three archetypal figures behind them who are supporting them and wanting to speak through them. And to say it again – from this place. Usually clients find the last or second to last very powerful. It brings a sense of true wholeness to us to be alinged in this way – and alinged to that which is ‘bigger than ourselves’ that which is wanting to speak through us.

  2. Hi Henry,

    I remember your first blog post and you talking about your weight, and body size and taking better care of your body, moving more and eating less – something about no longer tolerating the relationship you had with your body. When you changed the name of your blog it seemed like the focus changed from your body, and more to other really insightful cool things – which you are very, very good at. There was something in there about accountability too I think.

    This recent post reminded me of your original post – purposing a large part of the intention for your blog – do you still have that original post?

    As someone who struggles with my own body size and relationship with food I was very interested and excited about your blog and was inspired by your bravery, and authenticity. I’ve felt over the past year and a half that I couldn’t ask you how much weight you have lost/gained… and in a sense I feel like am colluding with you in some way by not asking. I don’t know if that was set up by me, or by you – or a combination of a whole bunch of things. What I do know is that part of the original beginnings of this blog did have something to do with accountability, your body size and your relationship with your body. A submission on weight gain/loss would make you more authentic and real to me – and would highlight what might be working and what might not be working.

    Two Questions for you Henry:

    Looking back on the topic of your body size, weight, movement and eating portions (1/3 2/3), and accountability since beginning your blog, what are you pleased with, and what do you want to work more on? What has this particular part of your journey been like?

    What was your weight when you began the blog and what is your weight now?

    Looking forward to the dialogue and perspectives that come out of these questions.


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