Practicing in the Fog

Its kinda like this. In bright colors I practice in the fog.

Another foggy morning here in Dillon Beach with sort of sad Peter Kater and Carlos Nakai music on and Karen off in Japan with me all alone here in this wonderful, and feeling very big and empty, house. As I have gotten into the practice of doing while Karen is away I am using this time home alone with more open space then is normal in my calendar as a time to settle back in to my practices. This morning I woke up and showered, dressed, put on some tea and went up to my little aerie to meditate, had a great settling in meditation, got my tea and here I am sitting in front of my computer with my screen completely filled with this writing and nothing peeking out from behind or winking at me saying I am here pay attention to me, play me, I’m more urgent then what you are doing. It is funny how we choose what’s urgent and important, that email, unsigned check, unsent bill, or to do item is only as important or urgent as I make it, even if it has something gooey attached to it like ‘guilt’ or ‘responsibility’ or ‘should’ or ‘blame’ or any other sort of possible emotional interpretation, after all of those things are done screaming at me I am still at choice about when and where attention gets paid. When I am engaged in my practices I choose not to let those things pollute the practice. It’s not always easy. There are sometimes when my conditioned response is so automatic, like when the phone rings, that I find it almost impossible to stay in the practice. I also find it actually harder, sometimes, to get past the emotional baggage associated with performance and resistance when I am engaged in practice with Karen practicing at the same time. I have to work that much harder to hold focus and stay conscious. It is a good training though, I think, in really exploring the distinction between practice and performance.

Today is a good day for me to attend to all my practices, except swimming (pool is closed on thursdays for lap swim) in a completely non rushed way. It is a very open day so I can eat my meals down in the kitchen, consciously paying attention to moderation, I can go for a walk, I can go to my CSA and pick up my groceries and chat with the farmer for a bit, I can do a few errands that have to do with eating locally and pick up a couple of pieces of hide to make the bag for my pipe. All of these are practices that will point to my expanding consciousness on this day.

Today I can also start to get some folks around me enthusiastically excited about the upcoming Co-Active Summit in Florida this February. I am getting more and more focused on this evolutionary event in my world. I am getting palpitations here as I write this I am getting so excited about the challenges to me as a designer, leader and (as my buddy Rick Tamlyn says ‘Frother’). I want this to be two things that I feel a direct responsibility for, I want this to be a sold out smash large event for the folks in my world. I want this to be the most unique consciousness evolution large group experience that has ever been created. I want the 500 or so lucky people who make it to this Summit to have as powerful a transformational experience as they had in all of their other CTI experiences combined, if not more so. I want to redefine what we do in large groups together as something that is both wildly fun, deeply engaging, transformational and will take everyone at this summit to the next step in the evolution of their consciousness. That’s all.

So I guess I have some practices to pay attention to around what I call ‘work’ too. I have practices that have to do with dreaming this summit into a powerful manifestation. I have practices that are about moving this book on Leadership that I am writing with David Skibbins to the next stage. I have practices that are about responsibility for the people who are counting on me as a teacher and a leader. Some of these practices are also tied up in performance issues and need to be untangled and looked at as practices. Things I do because I am clear that they keep me clean and conscious. You know I am thinking as I am writing this paragraph that there is a whole new way for me to approach work as a practice that hasn’t truly come to me before. How do I take all of the ‘shoulds’, ‘denials’, ‘resistances’, and ‘slippage’ out of work practices and REALLY move my acts into a place of impeccability, into a place of NOT scoring points or checking off boxes but of choosing what is the most present practice to attend to that will move life forward. Hmmmmm. Some contemplation will be needed in addition to some experimentation on that one.

This is going to be a tag-line for my blog for awhile. It is for you my readers and it is also an opportunity to practice.


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