All these voices and more are in my circle, right now in this moment. Who is ‘right’ and who is ‘wrong’? Who is helping move life forward and who is helping in life’s destruction? Which voices are more entertaining to me or to others? Which voices are of the ego and which are of the higher self? I am not sure. Oh sure there are on the surface ‘bad’ voices and ‘good’ voices, and the minute I dig down into these voices I notice I can find some powerful life affirming beliefs under some of the ‘bad’ voices and some life destroying compensations under some of the ‘good’ voices. It is a complex inner world we humans create for ourselves sometimes.
I went to bed last night feeling more in tune with the ‘bad’ voices and I woke up after some really cool dreams, that I can’t remember any more except to realize they were state changing dreams, and recognized a caucophony of voices simultaneously wanting to take charge of my thinking. I realized that I could follow a bunch of different paths as I got out of bed that would lead to different states and ways of being today or at least this morning. So I headed off to the hot tub to soak for a bit and feel my way into a lot of those options and voices. I had a little giggle at how shizophrenic we humans are in every single moment and how thin a line it must be between those who are institutionalized and the rest of us. That line may be about choice, I don’t know maybe I have the ability to choose what voices to listen to and the folks in institutions don’t feel that they have that choice. All I know is that there I was floating in that hot tub and listening to the loudest voices, because there were a whole heck of a lot of voices chattering away behind those voices that weren’t as loud this morning that have been very loud at other times, and I was wondering what trail to follow. I was floating in fog so thick it was misting and I could barely see the end of the deck. The voices were chattering away and then to add to the noise in came some old tv theme songs to mess with it “The Beverly Hillbillies” “Gilligan’s Island” and “Green Acres”. As all of this was going on inside my mind another gentle voice came in and said “Isn’t this sort of funny and amazing that all of this can go on in here? And you know that with a breath you can turn it all off?” So there I was floating in the hot tub and I took a breath and whoosh it all dissappeared. I knew then that it was time to get out of the hot tub and come up here and write. What comes next is a mystery. I know there will be lots of opinions and points of view that will be coming from my inner circle and I know that with a breath I can make them all go quiet.
Sometimes you just gotta smile in wonder at the everything and nothing possibilities that exist in every moment.