Sometimes you get up and you just get right to it and other times you get up and get to something and you really believe you will get to ‘it’ sometime later that day. What I’ve found is that the former works better for me and the latter tends to turn into a day of wandering and wondering. Yesterday was a day of getting to something and not getting to ‘it’, today is a day of getting to ‘it’ and trusting that something will emerge from it. Yesterday I ran around the house all day trying to solve a tech problem that I don’t even want to think about now. I felt very important as I ran upstairs and downstairs and waited for things to download and fail for the umpteenth time to do what they were supposed to do. I got very busy doing lots of something and never got to ‘it’. Boy oh boy that stuff I was doing started to feel important and urgent and like it had to be done and done now. The more I let it become that the further and further away ‘it’ moved and before it I was cooking dinner and settling in for the evening having ‘forgotten’ about ‘it’. Of course I hadn’t forgotten anything I just added another log of failure to the fire and one in my circle got to smirk and say I told you so. Did the thing that was so important get fixed? NO of course not, that problem still awaits solving. Will it ever be solved? Yes, and it has no chance of being solved if I don’t start my day with ‘it’ instead.
So today I woke up and got to it. I started by cleaning mySelf, literally took a shower and did all the cleaning things, I then started cleaning the house around me a bit, the kitchen and the laundry, that was half done is now done. I meditated to clean out my mind a bit. I ran out of milk so I couldn’t have my tea and I was in a bit of a dilemma, “Do I make this important and urgent and make it something that takes me away from it? Or do I just grab a glass of water and go upstairs and finish it first, and then contemplate how I want to go for the rest of the day?” So no tea this morning, instead a nice refreshing glass of water, mmm I just had a nice big sip and I still feel it working it’s way down to my belly and cleaning out my insides while I write this.
It makes me a bit sad sometimes to think how clear my mind, heart, body and soul are when it comes to the importance of doing my practices first thing in the morning and how I still find something more ‘important’ then they are to pull me away. How quickly the voices come in to say how easy it will be to postpone or reschedule and how easily I listen to those voices and still somehow believe them. I KNOW THIS STUFF. And yet how easily I get pulled off track. How sad it is for an evolving world consciousness to imagine how difficult it is for most of us human beings to do what is right and good for the growth and development of our consciousness and for life. No wonder it sometimes feels hopeless and that so many of us give up thinking anything will ever change. And then a voice in my circle says to me “Just think, if those same people would meditate or clean something up or take a deep breath and send out a prayer of transformation during the same time that they spend feeling hopeless, how much closer we would be to that next evolutionary step.” So in the same breath is sadness and possibility, in the next breath is hopelessness and hope, and in the next breath is victim and responsible. All those breaths live in me and all must be breathed at the same time. Denying part of the breath does no good because we will all just suffocate, instead we need to breath in the sadness, hopelessness victims that we are and that are all around us and breathe out the hopeful responsible and conscious human beings that we all are. We need to trust that our heart and soul can take the transformation of that breath.