Now my sis got this whole thing started as a result of circumstances becoming completely intolerable and life needed to change. This is often the case prior to an evolutionary leap. The other way a leap can happen, I believe, is a creative burst that is inspired by all sorts of surrounding circumstances some of which may seem intolerable and some of which are just not acceptable any longer combined with either insight or deepened consciousness.
This is where I enter this picture. I declared here on this blog a couple of years ago when I began that it had become intolerable that my body and I were so disconnected and that I abused my body the way I did and that if I were to evolve to what was next for me in my life I needed to bring integrity, compassion and love into that relationship and wholeness into all parts of me. I also knew that I needed to deepen my consciousness to include and trust information about my body from my body. I had to let go of outsiders telling me all the different ways and theories of how to take control of my body and lose weight and get it together. I had to trust the wisdom of close to 50 years of yo-yoing diets and learning and being educated that I had learned and been educated. So I created a consciousness program for myself of moderation and restraint when it came to food and exercise and I noticed that first and foremost my relationship with my body changed as I started listening and loving my body. I started to move more and be moderate in what I consumed. This led to the most integrated that I have ever felt in my life and I allowed that consciousness to grow from that integration and my whole universe seemed to grow and become more clear to my expanding consciousness.
During this same time my beloved Karen was trying to work through her issues with her body with Weight Watchers and working out with a trainer and her yoga practice and my sister RevJvh was engaging with SparkPeople and working out with her trainer. I was pretty resistant to these “outsiders” and feeling a bit fragile about my newfound sense of integration and consciousness. As time went by I noticed that my body wasn’t changing much, my moderation and restraint program wasn’t producing the transformation that I was intending. My consciousness was growing, I was growing and my body wasn’t shrinking. For awhile I was excited enough about the evolving and integration, and even the closer connection that I was having with my body, that I was engaged in that I could ignore or live in a bit of denial about my body staying pretty locked in the shape that we had created together over the years.
Then along came my sister with not only her impressive weight loss, it was the transformation that was so inspirational. So as many of you already know I joined Spark People too and started tracking my food and exercise. This time though I believe I am able to come at the whole thing from a place of conscious choosing and not from a place of victimhood or judgment or losing myself to follow another plan. This time I began by creating my own plan based on my body and it’s needs and my mind, emotions and spirit based on their needs. This time I designed an alliance with my beloved Karen to do this interdependently (both alone and together). This time I have my sisters in front of me inspiring me and I am in it for the long haul, as in the rest of my life. I have even stopped being fragile about owning a scale and have ordered a really cool one that sends my measurements through wifi directly to Spark People and that doesn’t freak me out or make me feel like a victim, and if it does I will bury it somewhere in the garage. I bought this armband that pretty accurately measures all the calories I burn, both in activities during the day and even while I am sleeping, so that I can be curious about the distinctions between calories in and calories out without having to guess and cheat like I used to. So I have increased the toys, which is always good, and I have increased the ability to be conscious which is even better. Now being conscious has to do with both the inside conversation AND the outside data and with the two together I believe that I too can shift my paradigm like my inspiring sister the Rev did.