Fortunately I have put some other voices into my circle and taking the starch out of a lot of those saboteur voices. I have set up some habits of curiosity and observation and set up some experiments around measuring calories in and out and what the impact of that measuring will have on my overall condition. So I sat down at this trusty computer with the information gathered over the last week and saw very clearly what was going on. I saw that I had indeed lost 2.7 pounds and why I did. I noticed the average daily calorie deficits combined with the amount and quality of my sleep combined with the exercise I am getting and how much time is spent in my days on average moving. I noticed that over the last few weeks all of those numbers are moving in directions that are beginning to be consistent and predictable. My awareness is growing as to how my body is working from me studying it in much greater detail and with all sorts of different ways of measuring combined with my increased sense of self awareness. All of that led to quickly overcoming those killer voices that were having a feeding frenzy over the initial disappointment of not getting below that 0.
Which brings me to the Expectations created around decades or 0’s. Am I really going to spend time sweating about turning 60 (my next decade year coming in a little over 2 years)? Am I really going to spend the next two years creating expectations around what that really means? Am I really going to watch for every 0 on the scale as a measure of how I am doing? Those dang 0’s do provide a wonderful opportunity to set up expectations and as I have taught for over 20 years, and never fully get myself, expectations lead to disappointment. It doesn’t matter if the expectations are “good” or “bad” they lead to disappointment. There is something evil about expectations. They insidiously work their ways into our lives and have us not be able to be in the present moment because we are so busy measuring against the future or the past. It is so easy to add expectations to really powerful things like goals, outcomes, purpose, dreams, intention and desire. When we add expectations to these things they still have the same pulls to them they always did and when we achieve them or find ourselves powerfully living into them we and up still being disappointed because of the attached expectations. No matter how smart or enlightened I get in this world in some ways it won’t matter much to me at all if I can’t work on ridding mySelf of expectations.
As a wise person said to me long ago. “Have no expectations and abundant expectancy!”
With abundant expectancy anything can happen and there is hope and possibility for things to unfold in surprising and wonderful ways. As long as we don’t set up any expectations about them.