Expectations & 0

All the expectations that get set around these pesky zero's.

For some reason those decade numbers are so important. I was weighing in this morning in my weekly weigh in and I really wanted to pop below this number that ended in 0. I had been thinking about popping below that number all week and I worked hard to get there. I got on the scale and it said …0.9. Now that is still 2.7 lbs below where I was when I weighed in last week but the disappointment still was my first reaction. This wash of disappointment that instantly grabbed me by the throat and had me say a swear word or three and then get on the scale and try again only to get the same result. “What happened” “Oh my god I am such a bonehead” and worst of all “See, you just can’t do it” All of those popped into my head when the scale didn’t go below that …0 that I had created as the expectation for me to reach. Those saboteur voices were all ready to grab me and sacrifice all of the beautiful things that I have done all week and all of the amazing feelings of power and connectedness to mySelf and myBody that I had forged through sweat and hard work, through consciousness and measuring, through moderation and restraint. Poof, the voices said, to all of that and let’s get back on the program we know. All of that happened in the instant I looked down and saw that number that was over …0 on the scale.

Fortunately I have put some other voices into my circle and taking the starch out of a lot of those saboteur voices. I have set up some habits of curiosity and observation and set up some experiments around measuring calories in and out and what the impact of that measuring will have on my overall condition. So I sat down at this trusty computer with the information gathered over the last week and saw very clearly what was going on. I saw that I had indeed lost 2.7 pounds and why I did. I noticed the average daily calorie deficits combined with the amount and quality of my sleep combined with the exercise I am getting and how much time is spent in my days on average moving. I noticed that over the last few weeks all of those numbers are moving in directions that are beginning to be consistent and predictable. My awareness is growing as to how my body is working from me studying it in much greater detail and with all sorts of different ways of measuring combined with my increased sense of self awareness. All of that led to quickly overcoming those killer voices that were having a feeding frenzy over the initial disappointment of not getting below that 0.

Which brings me to the Expectations created around decades or 0’s. Am I really going to spend time sweating about turning 60 (my next decade year coming in a little over 2 years)? Am I really going to spend the next two years creating expectations around what that really means? Am I really going to watch for every 0 on the scale as a measure of how I am doing? Those dang 0’s do provide a wonderful opportunity to set up expectations and as I have taught for over 20 years, and never fully get myself, expectations lead to disappointment. It doesn’t matter if the expectations are “good” or “bad” they lead to disappointment. There is something evil about expectations. They insidiously work their ways into our lives and have us not be able to be in the present moment because we are so busy measuring against the future or the past. It is so easy to add expectations to really powerful things like goals, outcomes, purpose, dreams, intention and desire. When we add expectations to these things they still have the same pulls to them they always did and when we achieve them or find ourselves powerfully living into them we and up still being disappointed because of the attached expectations. No matter how smart or enlightened I get in this world in some ways it won’t matter much to me at all if I can’t work on ridding mySelf of expectations.

As a wise person said to me long ago. “Have no expectations and abundant expectancy!”

With abundant expectancy anything can happen and there is hope and possibility for things to unfold in surprising and wonderful ways. As long as we don’t set up any expectations about them.

One response to “Expectations & 0

  1. Funny thing, Bro — I was thinking about “Have no expectations, but rather abundant expectancy” as I read your blog. Love your honesty and vulnerability as your red line wiggles its way down the goal scale. They say not to use the word ‘but’ because it negates what comes before it. In this instance, I’d say to keep the ‘but rather’. Time to NEGATE those expectations completely!! Congratulations on all your hard work and those 2.7 lbs you used up! Good on you! xo, Helenska

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