16 Years

The look of love

The look of love.

On Friday Karen and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary. We didn’t used to celebrate our anniversaries, I think we probably just assumed they were going to be there and went on with our lives. How silly of us. An anniversary is a birthday isn’t it? It celebrates the birth of a commitment to each other that is bigger and deeper and richer then just moving in with each other or declaring our love for each other. 16 years ago we vowed to each other that we would be there in the hard times and the good times, the messy times and the sweet times, the times of heartbreak and the times of ecstasy. By the time something human reaches 16 years old you have definitely gone through all of those times and many more and we both are realizing that we need to celebrate and honor that passing of time as much as we need to celebrate and honor the passing of time that marks our individual births.

So we did. We spent the day working together in our office overlooking the ocean. We worked together on caring for our “child”, this business that we have spent the last 20 years of our life raising (that’s right we delivered this CTI baby before we got married along with our co-parent Laura). This “child” has become a young adult with a mind of it’s own and off in directions that are important for it to head off in to grow and mature. And as every parent of a young adult knows, there are still things to pay attention to and that this fabulous young adult still has needs that it seems only a parent can take care of. So with pride, love and joy we worked together to do what we could.

Then we wrapped up our time working together and went down to prepare for our celebration feast. I put on a shirt I love and lo and behold it was almost a little too big and OMG the pants that didn’t fit before actually fit perfectly and the belt had a couple of extra holes in it, the blazer fit and hung perfectly. I was looking good. Karen came out with this sensual velvety number and wafting this musky perfume behind her as we walked out to the car. It was a glorious spring evening and we sat on the deck of Madrona Manor this great old restaurant and B&B up in Healdsburg. We ordered the Chefs Grand Dame menu, which basically meant we put ourselves completely in his hands to send us out a delightful, delectable and delicious series of courses that would each contain about two perfect bites of heaven. Each course was paired with the perfect wine and served with a wonderful ease and attention to what needed attending to. During the intervals between courses and during the drive to the restaurant we imagined what breakthroughs and transformations would occur between this anniversary and the next in our relationship and individually. What would we be acknowledging and appreciating each other about next year on this day? What was great about the conversation and the meal was that you could stop the conversation at any point and have a mini orgasm with what you just put in your mouth, say a few words about it, and then drop right back into the conversation again. We lovingly wandered in and out like that for somewhere between 3 and 4 hours and poured ourselves happily into bed that night for a blissful sleep.

What a great anniversary it was.

4 responses to “16 Years

  1. How completely and deliciously sweet to read this tonight. I’m so THRILLED you celebrated this year – it’s about time! It reminded me that on your glorious wedding day in that magical meadow in CA, we were awaiting the news of Mady’s birth. She was born just a couple of weeks later and now, on June 4th, she will turn 16. It’s fun to think of CTI as all grown up just as my beautiful daughter is becoming so grown up. Funny to think of CTI and Isaiah being the same age – Isaiah will be 20 this September! I think they’ve ALL grown up nicely!

    I love you both – individually and together. Thanks for sharing…


  2. Like, Helen, I well remember that beautiful day in that California meadow and one of the most joyous and creative wedding celebrations I’ve ever seen. I’m so glad you’re celebrating. It IS a big deal! Congratulations and much love to both of you.

    xo, Jeanny

  3. Henro – –
    I am slowly, bumbling-ly finding my way to treasure troves on the internet and thank heavens! bumbled into yours. what a heart-warming sharing of your and your beloved’s day. I too celebrate you guys remember vividly the remarkable marriage celebration 16 years ago, and love the description of your day of quiet celebration in 2011.

    And – -YES! to celebrations of life! I was just wondering about those friends and family who don’t like to celebrate birth days or new years or other days that crop up. I have often heard “well, it’s no different than any other day.” and as I think about that, I am reminded of a teacher who joyfully exclaimed years ago, “ohmigawd! Find as much to celebrate as you can!” Every moment exists for just a moment, and like a snowflake, melts away as another one emerges, unique, brand new and shiny. Just like this moment. And this. And now a whole new year of never-before-seen moments. how COOL!
    Love, Heatheroo

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