Most of the time when I sit down to write in this journal/blog I have no idea what I am going to say or write about, like this morning. I often sit down to do it because it is a practice for me of contemplation and it a way for me to bring up to my consciousness what is lurking below in mySelf. Often I begin after I have done some sort of meditation and sometimes I just begin it because I know it’s good for me. This is of course when I am following this practice. When I sit down at the computer I see on it all of the things I am working on, my email, calendar, facebook, games, and other things that occupy my time at my desk. I open my MacJournal program and put it on full screen and presto I have a blank computer screen that is a pleasant sky blue waiting for me to write something. When I write it comes out in a nice purple font that is big enough to see without any squinting. So there I am with a blank screen patiently waiting. I stretch my body in the chair and look out the window at the beauty surrounding me for inspiration. Sometimes I’ll sit there for quite a few minutes, like this morning just staring at the large rock here in front of my temporary office window, with the blue sky above it, wisps of white cloud floating and the grasses surrounding it with the endless ocean out beyond. I’ll just sit there wondering what there could be to write about. Thoughts will come to my mind, some of the thoughts will be “important” thoughts that “should” be thought about, some will be fears or concerns or things that piss me off that would be “vulnerable and real” to write about, some will be self realizations or observations that want to flow out in a Ken Kesey steam of consciousness kind of way “the crazy interior revealed”, and some are just what my fingers type and are as close to not thinking as I can get “could be a disaster and boring to both me and you”. I then filter through those thoughts, take a breath and start typing and see what most wants to emerge. I think today it is more of the later two. I think today that I have no idea what I am going to write and I will just have to discover it as I go along with more blankness then I am used to.
This meditation I am doing, again after a loooong hiatus, is these Holosync recordings where the sound waves take my brain into different cycles and do some interesting syncing of the different parts of the brain and provide the opportunity to open up neural pathways. I have recorded affirmations and declarations that are recorded in beyond normal hearing frequencies that are played at the same time as the journey of cycling through the different brain waves. So there are some neural pathways being created and solidified in my brain that are more integrated with the way I am wanting to move in my life. Anyway that is the way it is supposed to work and who knows what is really happening. All I do know is that when I come out from underneath the headphones I feel like I have been taken out of my normal day to day experience and on a journey. I know I have spent time outside of my thinking brain, similar to other meditations and the way that I experience my body is different for awhile after I put the headphones down.
So here I was a half hour or so ago in somewhat of an altered state, staring at my blank screen and my rock feeling quite peaceful and wondering what to write about.
My puppy Cosmo is an unusual puppy, besides being amazingly cute and smart he is also “mellow”, When we go out for a walk he’ll sometimes just stand with his nose up. It looks to me like he is looking at something, so I look and can’t see anything that he is looking at, so then I imagine he is just sticking his nose in the air and smelling things I have no idea about. It could be he just isn’t in a hurry and he is literally just stopping to take time to look, smell and listen in this moment. Sure he loves to run and play and his favorite game is chase, sometimes he likes to be the chaser and sometimes the chasee, he loves to run, he loves to go down into a deep play bow and invite play with every other dog and person he runs into with his tail wagging so hard and fast you would think he would take off like a helicopter and fly butt first around the beach. In all those ways he is like a typical puppy, and he also does this slow down and contemplate thing that I haven’t experienced in many other puppies I’ve had in my life. We picked Cosmo out of the litter, when we met the whole litter, because he had this little white swirl in the middle of his forehead that looked for all the world like the swirling cosmos. We also picked him because he had this loving quality and loved to cuddle up next to you. So like the cosmos our Cosmo appreciates slow as much as he loves fast. He reminds me about slowing down and paying attention.
When I add the reminders from Cosmo to the altered and relaxed state that emerges from the meditation I am aware that so many of us humans have completely forgotten how to slow down, open our eyes, nose and ears to our world and just take in what is there in front of or inside of us. There is so much around us and within us to open ourselves to in this moment and yet we are in such a hurry to get to the next moment that we miss it all.